Old Ghosts

Time

To reflect; gaze into the mirror

the stories of yesterday, hazily shimmer

like looking through fog at a distant star

the image blurred, the edges softened by ageing eyes

old ghosts, let them lie

forgive the past and the tales it told

enjoy the future, that in your hand you hold

Time

To see the youthful face of those days

replaced by the wisened figure that stands in his place

raise a glass, share a toast

forgive the memories; the ones that hurt the most

old ghosts, let them lie

have the time of your life, smile more don't sigh

Time

To look through the looking glass at the future you hold

let your story unfold, allow it to be told - let the sun shine down, rays of gold

leave old ghosts in yesterdays shadows, as you walk into tomorrows clear glow

life; still so much to learn so let the drinks flow. Enjoy the show

And as the clock strikes, let fire light the skies

bring a bit of daylight to midnight

as yesterday dies and tomorrow is born in front of our eyes

let those old ghosts lie

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Happy New Year.

Kyle.

 

Season of memories

I remember the first blooms of spring
a love so new, the buds just flowering
the first sprouts of green through the dust coloured lands
the first time we touched - hand against hand
nervously waiting, tensing inside
to see if the new born feelings were shared or denied

I remember the embers of that summer
as they floated, endlessly it seemed
aimlessly into the dark recesses of my dreams
the candyfloss soft embrace of late night kisses
twilight warmth rages into daylight heat and love's sweet blisses
an inferno of passions in our youthful eyes
memories shared under red hot skies

I remember the autumn, its golden ways
as the days drew in and the sun burned an orange blaze
we danced under those sun rays, kissing and holding onto each others gaze
even as the trees dropped their amber leaves
we never took a second to drop our beats
our hearts so in time, in tune they drum
over those final days of autumn

I remember the chill as winter fell
a somber way to break a spell
the kiss you stole left me cold
for you took it from another soul
the heart you broke wasn't yours to break
lost love left me to ache
a cracked icy lake of tears greeted the cold sun at daybreak
   
I memorised the year, let it seep into every pore
for each tear, every bellowed roar, never again I swore
but then the sun rose and set, its heat flowed and helped me reset
I learned to forget, let go of the pain and regret
and slowly the first shoots of spring, were flowering again

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Belong?

Am I just a bit part in the story?
An NPC in your RPG, with no lines to speak
am I the character that is killed in the first act
before the curtain falls
as the interval drinks spill, my tale lost to all

Are you the last one standing
am I the supporting act, the warm up artist to keep the crowd from disbanding
a third place runner in a field of two
the last minute rewrite, my lines on the cutting room floor - never to view
my role, left holding the door
whilst the crowd clamour through, begging for more
I'm standing at an entrance to a place that I don't fit
a party I'm not invited to; not a guest on the list

Am I a late replacement to a last minute date
the blank slate, a blank faced nobody that just sits in space
back row singer in a chorus of song
no voice of my own, no-one turned the microphone on
no words to read, no script to follow
just here to make up numbers, all feels so hollow

Am I second rate
or third in line; do I wait?
born too soon or a bit too late
is my mind too much or too little to please
it feels like a disease, this place fills me with unease

Am I last in line to a throne that will never be mine
one that I don't even want or have no designs to climb
am I supposed to be here, or did I take the wrong pathway before
should have taken my time, checked it was the right door
maybe this is the way it should be
a tale that I cant see;  the ending - still all a mystery
 

So I bide my time, watch the story unfold
let the pages fly by, find a place to behold
see where the story goes
who knows may end up the star of the show

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love. 

Kyle.

To all the non gaming geeks out there, 

NPC - A Non Playable Character,

RPG - Role Playing game!

Treading Water

Where do we go from here
treading water for too many years
keeping afloat; though never moving
feet are tired but the water's soothing

If I stay then there is no big act three
no final arc, no resolution to life's mystery 

I'll just one day sink under the waves
a slow decent into a watery grave
If I swim after the wrong star, I could be lost
all for a shot in the dark, a chance of hope, is that worth the cost?
 

Do I try to swim against the current?
have I the strength? muscles already ache from years of torment
what if I try to fight, what comes next
if I try will I be pulled into the depths
by unseen hands, or some Lovecraftian curse, 

an unseen force under the shimmering waves of course
a watery end to the stories discourse

Do I scream for aid, don't think my lungs can hold that much air
and I've not seen a boat of plane passing near
just me alone, an island afloat
an island of man, in distant waters - somewhere remote

Are those sharks in the water, looks like a fin reflecting in the sun
but my story shouldn't be over, I fear its barely even begun

I cant keep treading here, just kicking my feet
when the beasts of the deep are circling, ready for a meaty treat

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Sober

Thoughts reflect on a clear lake

a clean break, through the icy sheen that you mistake

for a good time, a life line left longing for cloud nine

the reflective mind searching for reason, some grand design

A shot of fire

to dull your icy mind

to burn the thoughts you find

like a photograph in a fireplace

forever burning, the embers singed into the mind

memories of forever, burning so unkind

Through the maze

of drunken days

alleyways pass as I stagger sideways

lost nights

last nights, lost fights

staggered falls on the side streets of life

The morning pint

the mourning sign

an old pub sign creaks in the dawn light

nightmare last calls

echo as we fall

fall to our knees

fall as we fail to beat the disease

Sobering, the way that life lights the path

sometimes, takes a stroll in the dark, to finally see the aftermath

of a world where you can't live without the internal wrath

When the alcohol has drowned

and the sun burned down

when the moon turns around - walking away

stars blink out, showing their dismay

Faces leer at you, with a sense of unease

as if you have a contagious disease

a parasite feeding on the flesh

an illness, not a human being making slow progress

The world stops turning

as your whole universe is spinning

yet still you reach for the bottle to control the ill feeling

its the only way to fit in

You no longer know your own mind

thoughts come, like a crowd from outside

shouting you down

or egging you on to get another round

slowly digging your own hole in the ground

Liquor burns like fire

stings the raw throat as life starts to expire

like salt, lemon and lime

rubbed into the cuts that life supplied somewhere down the line

long ago in a different space and time.

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Christmas 2019

The last few days have been extremely difficult, My mother has been in and out of hospital with breathing difficulties, so have had to spend a lot of time away from this side of my life.
Times like this remind me what a great job our National Health Service workers do. Working all hours - dealing with so many people at the hardest times in their lives.
People often moan about waiting times and such like, but when you see the staff almost dead on their feet from a gruelling shift you know that this isn't caused by a lack of care. It is the shortages in staffing numbers, the lack of funding that goes into our great system.

So this will probably be my last post before Christmas, So I wish everyone a great time.
The last year has been difficult to say the least, losing my father in April and having to find the mental and physical strength to get through life since has been tough, but I have had a lot of help from some Amazing friends and supporters, you all know who you are,  I want to thank all of you.
But the year has also been filled with positive moments.

My first ever live performance, a poetry slam win, some books that I'm very proud of.
and into the new year there will hopefully be more new experiences and high points.
In January I will be part of the Some-Antics Poetry Slam championship, all of the winners of the last year will be competing and it is going to be a great night, so if anyone is in the Leicester area on January 3rd, then please come along - The talent on display is amazing.

Hoping to begin work on my next poetry book fairly early into the new year, I have some rough Ideas so will keep you informed on this page and via Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Thank You for following my work, it is much appreciated, There will be much more in future!
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Sometimes (With Video and Live Performance)

Sometimes the face lies
smiles portrayed disguise the rotten feelings inside
hide behind a mask; tied over flooded teary eyes
He smiles, A bit too much, and way too wide

Sometimes the life of the party feels dead within
filled with internal dread, beneath the costumes and the tales he spins
hiding in plain sight his act too loud, his dancing too proud
the pain he feels at his life running out

Sometimes the one that wants to help, to be the guiding star
the bright spark in a sky so dark, is the one calling for help from afar
so lost in the world, he just cannot cope
feels alone, left on a shelf of no hope

Sometimes the one who offers his heart on a page - love his gift
the one that will always be there when you need help or a lift
always offers his arms to hold
sometimes he is the one that needs a hand as his world feels grey and cold

Sometimes the one who will always talk, always there when you need
the one who will always speak, replies with speed
often sits by his phone at night
waiting in the pale moonlight for someone to call and ask if HE is alright

Sometimes the one that stands on the edge
tear filled eyes glazed over, sadly eyeing the ledge
where the cliff side bleeds from the night sky, you'll find him
the strongest of us - his thoughts are not on jumping
even though life is a jumble, and he struggles, head thumping
he is viewing the horizon
to watch a new dawn arising
taking in the view
of a future brand new

Thanks For Reading.
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Lonely Highways

Said too many goodbyes
lost too much in that time
when did the world fall out of line
was I away, asleep or awake in a daze, walking blindly along lonely highways
 

No more times will I speak those words aloud
goodbye - I'll save the vowels, I'll turn them around in my mouth
until they spell out a line about seeing you again
somewhere distant, but not lost nor surrounded by miserable rain

I wont say goodbye, not again, not ready to hear those words on my lips
so I'll twist the verbs, shift the letters, cut the words using little snips
until they form a sentence that sits a little better
until I can write them in a verse, or in a letter
maybe in a song
one written as a welcoming hug not a lonely so long
 

Not ready for those words to turn to tears, not going to say goodbye 
words like ice, dripping from the corner of eyes
I wont say farewell, I will ask that you spare that hell
I will offer love as a guide, and hope it serves you well
a light in the dark, a lamp in this cavernous heart
not an end to a story but a whole new start

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Not Afraid

Not afraid of the night

nor the darkness lurking outside

more scared of the hints of light, 

they make things seem like the perfect twilight

the shifted haze of darkened hues, 

a sun glow twisted through the filter of a rose tinted view

Not scared of monsters with teeth bared

or demons with my soul impaled in their lairs

I'm more scared of the heart that pretends to beat, 

makes you believe then kicks you in the teeth

the sweetest glow on her rose tinted cheeks, 

a disguise to hide the beast beneath

Terrified of sinister visions in the night? not I

ghouls that prowl, they just raise a sigh

the scariest things are the glimmers of hope 

they shimmer on rivers of long lost dreams

bringers of glowing smiles that deceive, 

those endless tears; a rose tinted stream

Not scared of the underworld walkers, the hell bound stalkers

very rarely cross over those fiery borders

I'm more scared of the sight that wanders my sleep

haunting my visions she glows with a fire inside, 

she hides a wicked side

 that make my rose tinted eyes weep 

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

My own cell

Showed me the light

but then were gone

left in darkest night

where once you shone

Close all the doors

rebuild walls

barriers repaired and restored

replace the pieces that I left to fall

Better to hide than face this life

and the cold wind that blows

feel the flood waters rise

stay in the shadows

avoid the sneering vengeful eyes

I know its not healthy, to hide this way

but the other path just leads to misery

and thats a door I dont want to be knocking

so I build my own cell and hide the key after locking

Snarling sounds in my ears

the vicious words implied

ringing out like the bells of new year

or fireworks exploding inside

I let my defenses fall, fell for lies

ties and binds that blindsided my eyes

I scrawled my name in blood

to remind myself of where I once stood

the smiles worn so perfectly, I let them in

bloodstained teeth disguised by a cheerful grin

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Years

Years tore past since I last looked into those eyes
time splashed the sepia tinged pages with new colour flashes,
clashing tears, on your shoulder cried
so long since eyes did greet
the worn photograph my only retreat
smiles, distant dreams, frozen memories I still meet

Years since I left that house, under a cloud of grey
so long ago my life stolen away
smiles now barely touch my lips
lost the path, led into a routine of stumbles and trips

Dream time in the night, I sigh, under cover of starlight shyness

I see those eyes, a lighthouse in a storm filled sky, a lightness
once lost in an ocean of hurt now a saviour of sea weary travellors
we see wary traversers of distant continents around us
to learn, so much to learn, so much, to learn
whilst I sat alone in my home, watching memories burn

I framed the picture, lined with a new scripture
a story of love written in flowing ink, my bare walls only fixture
ripped and torn, faded yellow edges
takes pride of place next to my old ledgers
and I close my eyes, dream of forests of words
blowing gales, turning the pages, the memory blurred  

Thanks For Reading

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

When Will We Learn?

When will we learn?

We voted in our jailers

the creators of prisons of hate; that gate us

the architects of division and fear

we adhere to their lie filled sneers

we allowed them to engineer our own downfalls

and are then expected to cheer as their jeering faces accept the windfalls

When will we learn?

Turned our backs on people, care became a swear word

hope, a lost cause, like a snowflake in a flurry

as long as your okay, don't worry, as long as the bills are paid in a hurry

as long as our money goes into the pockets of our leaders

and not the hands of a beggar who just wants us to feed her

When will we learn?

We have one life, so why do we fill it with hate and bile?

wouldn't it be better to look at the world with hope once in a while

we had a chance...

just a chance, but it was better than asking the devil for a dance

it was a glimmer of hope, a distant lighthouse though the smoke

but we always turn on those who want us to look out for other folk

When will we learn?

When a man who just wants peace,

is willing to converse and learn to listen to our pleas

we always knock them down, and call them weak

instead of investing in the thoughts that are shared

we detest them, point and laugh in jest; at the thought that we humans can care

When will we learn?

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Seven Days

Seven days, that's all it took

just one hundred and sixty eight hours of bad luck

on the Monday a storm cloud hung low down, deep in my throat; a rumbling, gurgling sound

smile turned to a frown, the red mist stung like a poisonous flower in the dead ground

Tuesday a thunder strike ripped my heart,shocked me to my core - tore a crooked scar

lost; a distant star flailing in space so very far

Wednesday turned the week into a battlefield, Lightning blasts like missiles crash

fought over memories, overwrought with misery as my life flashes past

Armed with the knowledge that this storm was getting worse

alarms neglected, rejected, dove deep as the waters churned, a lesson learned
 or an unleashed curse

Thursday ignored the flood warnings, banks let loose; a lake of regrets

all bets were off, the floodgates tore free, banknotes could offer no safety nets

Friday I'm drowning, under the red waters rising

I try to escape but my boat keeps capsizing

hands drag me down under the surface, like lead weights, the dead wait

congregating to seal my tomb and with it my fate

Saturday stalls the storming winds, no longer bellowing, they merely ring

just echoing distant dreams of yesterdays words, there to remind of the pain they bring

and I lay under a crimson moon, peacefully in tune with what I need to do; a walk through hell

to repair my broken shattered soul, my punctured heart and weary shell

Sunday gives a chance of hope at last, as the sun breaks fast

cracks through the darkness like a cannon blast, to give meaning to the pain amassed

the road to recovery is a long and lonely walk, a slow path to where?
that's the part we don't know

but with each step you take, a new spark glows, and inside you start to grow

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

River of streetside lights

You remind me of a dream I once lived; those eyes delve deep inside

a lucid fantasy where my sweetest memories reside, your hair the waves under which I hide

walking the streets; just the ghost of a footprint, seen on snow covered pavements

like a snowflake floating on the breeze, free from all enslavement

Ashamed to be so lost in my head, the thoughts that spread

whilst my frozen heart beats alone at home waiting in dread

I lay awake with my eyes closed tight

Asleep I walk under dazzling glare, a thousand moonlit sights; a river of streetside lights

You remind me of a life once dreamed; a mere illusion

walking in this town of fiends - hand in hand; hearts burning hot - a passion of nuclear fusion

your lips - the heat they bring, fire energy, warmth; such beautiful words they sing

I never want to wake, the icy tomb that awaits is like a prison where the walls sting

Thanks for Reading.

Peace And Love.

Kyle.

A Billion Points Of Light

 

I dream of a place where people are not abused for having a different face
where people embrace difference, where it doesn't matter your birth place
I dream of stars, us a billion points of light
life inspired by love and art, not fight or flight

I dream of a land of individual flair, not a herd being led to despair
of a billion flares in the sky, celebrated not broken beyond repair
I dream of stardust, our combined brilliance shining through the rust
of a land of smiles, hope and trust

I dream of rainbow seas, open oceans of beauty
lakes of tranquil water to set us free, cleanse the hate that coats humanity
I dream of a billion blazing fires, shining inside like burning suns
a world of wonder, a world of fun, a world for everyone    

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.