Answers in the maze

 

He walked through the concrete maze,

Following a stray thread in his head,

Like a modern-day Theseus

with no minotaur to slay.

The alleyways, the space where

the bustling market used to be.

He wandered aimlessly

by the old pub with a gang of smokers

blocking the pathway.

Looking up for the first time in years.

He saw the beauty in the architecture,

the wonders that sat above us.

He saw the moon and it looked almost

like she was winking at him,

a trick of the light, must be.

 

His thoughts stirred like a whirlpool,

A tornado of words tumbled from

his silent tongue through his pen

and onto the page.

That face.

The face he has dreamed of for days,

why did he run away?

Why can’t he just be normal?

Why always so weird and uncomfortable?

He ambled on by the clock tower,

through the darker side of town,

to the station where time

always stopped still.

Where his mind stopped still.

The voices stopped

and silence filled his mind.

 

The same steel seat steals his thoughts

as he glances around, eyes up.

Sees so many faces,

but now they don’t bring fear,

just a slight disappointment 

that hers isn’t here.

Billy jots down

line after line,

A cascading avalanche

of sublime words

that had been stuck behind

a wall in his mind.

And he smiled

for the first time in forever.

Not a fake smile to hide his anxiety

But a smile at what life could be.

 

To Be Continued 

Sol

 

I wear a blank stare

and a smile

like my system is lagging

and my thoughts aren't computing,

the files all corrupted

and it just isn’t booting.

I’ve turned it on and off

Sso many times, the switch is stuck,

and now it just reboots at its own

inopportune moments.

 

I look off into the distance

because that’s where I left my gaze,

somewhere away in a moment

when I was able to regain

my composure before it flowed

down the drain.

But behind the eyes

I’m a whirlwind swirling,

all the thoughts circling

and forming into

their own spaces

for me to run through

like a field of maize.

 

I’m complex, like a sound desk

with all of the switches and dials

mixed up wrong,

so what if I ruin the song?

It was my song to ruin all along.

But then I let that special refrain

sing over my brain and I remember

that what I am isn’t wrong, I am me

and I belong. All along my gaze still sits

somewhere off in the mix,

in the field of sound

where the song really exists.

 

But I am love. It is me

and we are one in this world

where hearts bound along.

So I’ll dress my hope

in golden robes

and I’ll share her with the sun

and watch as she outshines

the light that Sol

pours down on everyone.

For I am love

and I hold my arms open

when most close them tight,

and I’ll give you the key.

just use it wisely

and set your own love free tonight.

Catching feelings

 

I promised myself that

I wouldn’t catch feelings,

but they blew into my face

like a cobweb in the winter breeze.

I promised myself

I could just let the thoughts

drift away, like a daydream

thrown into a summer stream,

but they kept returning

as the water was

flowing back towards me.

 

I promised myself that

I’d stick to this path alone,

but then it merged into a pathway

that you walked along,

You see,

it’s like I’m walking in a dream,

every moment is blurring around me

except the face that draws my eyes.

For those eyes, that smile,

the thoughts that reside inside,

they have taken refuge within.

They have built a home. A city

in my brain and I’m

walking its streets every night,

wishing for your heart to rain.

 

I promised myself that

no matter what,

I’d let all thoughts of love

fade into dust.

That I’d bury them deep,

like all those dead feelings.

I’d hold a funeral and weep,

I’d mourn, but in time I’d be

able to breath and maybe even sleep,

but now I can’t think straight,

I see you and I believe,

that love was always supposed to be.

 

And I promised that

I’d not catch feelings

That I’d stick to speaking my poems

and just let those feelings sleep,

but they are wide awake

stomping around my head

and I’m sat beside a riverbed

just holding them tight

like a cuddly toy

but all I want is to be

holding you instead.