Undone

 

Sometimes it all comes undone.

The moment of realisation

always dawns too late,

and the comedown

starts to take hold

when your own love

walks out of the gate

into the realms beyond.

 

When you realise you've spent

more time holding onto hate

than the remnants of hope

that once clung on.

Because what they showed was

just a fiction,

a blurted word of love

a story that was never true.

A story that never included you.

 

Sometimes it’s just too late,

and your own love leaves

in the wake of a bad dream.

No words can save something

that is beyond repair, those words

can’t navigate through the despair

that lives when love never really lived there.

 

Sometimes it all comes undone.

Every strand of twine is left just straggled

across the floor and your

heart pours acid blood

into your now sour stomach.

 

The distance between

breaths

are endless it seems,

The gaping chasms

between minutes

on a clock face.

The gasps as tears are pulled back,

before they have a chance to race down cheeks.

The screams that live in the chest,

bursting to get free

become only a pitiful whimper

when they touch the cold air.

 

Sometimes it all comes undone

and it can feel unfair,

when you've given your whole heart

and they never seemed to care.

between realities

 

We live on the boundary

between two opposing realities.

A rock outcrop, empty bar one lone tree.

On one side fate and destiny.

The other chaos and unpredictability,

and as we wobble precariously

we can see that these

two opposing seas

are joined intrinsically,

violently crashing their waves

to form an ever more 

complicated third reality.

 

Sometimes

sparks get dusted

across the universe,

little strands of future,

tiny nuggets of a plan,

moments that can change a life span.

Like the moment you relive a dream,

or the way a face seen

can feel instantaneously

like someone that will

always be connected.

But conversely sometimes

life has to be chaotic

to set in action a series of events

to which the outcome

is of greater importance.

 

Because sometimes

things are supposed to happen.

But in a world of chaos

the plans can sometimes

unravel when we take

the road less travelled.

I had to nearly die to be reborn,

I had to cry until

my tear ducts ran dry

so that I could see

the world with open eyes.

I’ve had to love those

that caused me such hurt,

to be able to see

my own self-worth,

and I’ve had to feel that pain

to be able to open my heart 

and give every part of me to you.

 

For without the chaos,

I’d be walking a long pathway

with no story,

the chaos creates the branches

of this story tree,

and each leaf is

a moment of chemistry.

The bark worn with

time weathered memories.

 

If my book is already written,

beginning, middle and end,

then some of the pages must stay empty

for those magic moments

that even the universe

can’t fully comprehend.

And if I could read

just a single page ahead of me

I'd decline, for who wants to

read the ending

when the journey is sublime.

The end of the beginning

 

The summer night warmth

swept through the station.

The sun setting over the horizon,

casting the church in the distance

into silhouette. Billy sat,

as he had for weeks, months.

His words now flowed like a river,

and a spark of hope had burned away

the darkness inside. But in that time,

the face he saw in dreams

was still just a wispy memory to him.

Some dreams are not meant to be,

he whispered sadly.

 

As he glanced back

down at his page

something caught his eye.

A shadow against the sunset halo.

A voice singing high. An angel.

But those words.

Those words.

He knew them by heart,

for they were his heart,

laid out on a page.

His art given a new stage.

 

Melody sang,

every emotion

came flooding out.

Every happy tear,

every soulful line,

every smile.

Truth underlined.

She sang with all of her heart,

except the part she was holding open

in hope that he would walk in

and hold her there.

 

Billy fought the embarrassment,

always feared being centre of attention.

Now the whole station looked at him.

But in a moment of bravery, affection and

a realisation,

he listened to the song of destiny.

For the words said all they need to say.

'Come explore this world with me,

we have so much to see.'

 

And to melody he ran,

holding her hand.

Into eyes they gazed.

a feeling of belonging.

Of longing.

A shadow silhouette of a kiss

emblazoned by the sun.

 

The End of the Beginning