School Daze

Those days, meant to be the best in life, a time to thrive
memories to live by, to take with us till the day we die
special times must have walked right past
a daze, those lost days, a grimace of pain, it lasts

The lights switch off in my mind, left here in the dark
faded photograph scraps of times elapsed, left cold and stark
pushed, shoved, hit til i bleed, the cruel words, this cruel world
a blessing to be alone and free, just me, can be unfurled

I remember me, always outside looking in at them
always wanting, never being, a part of the team, numb
apart from the rest, couldn't say a word, could you talk for me please? I'm scared
scarred, tore apart my art, my heart, my last remaining thought unaired

Left for a new place, a new day, a change to be
grew in belief, created myself, a new ideal me
a new deal, an ordeal, those past years
now forever lost in a flow of tears

Music dragged me out, pushed me into the arms of people new
a group who knew how to get to me, to make me break through
let go of those ripped diary pages, find my voice, sing loud
let my hair down, allow my heart to flow free and proud

Thanks for reading,
Kyle

Fallout

The thunderous cloud erupts out and looms
deadly, deathly silence after the deafening boom
dust brings an end to our days, we try to flee
as it comes down, falls like petals from a tree

The fall out warnings ring out
no hope for us now
if we survive this plight the days will feel like nights
lives forever changed, cards marked, humanities last rites

Bodies vaporised in an heartbeat
nothing left to see, but an xray burned into the street
mankind, mother natures still birth, never learn
all we leave is a scorched earth, as we watch it burn

End of days, caused by mans desire
we like to bring hurt, we play with fire
this time it burnt us whole
this world lost control

Radiation sickness eats away at its victims
didn't bring this on themselves, just going about business
no winners all losers. the day we split the atom
we became gods, instead of good we turned it to a weapon

Our kind will survive in part
but at what cost? so many lost hearts
so many dearly departed, no tales of glory
just regression into a cave dwellers story

Mutually assured destruction, madness to me
id rather food upon the table, a safer place to be
to change this negative for good
lets stop now before we are all worm food

Thanks for reading,
Kyle.

Devil

Lucifer looms over me, tall and proud

his business suit sharp and loud

offers his deal, a meal and all my hearts desires

if I just sit back give my soul and cower

The paper lay in front of me

the fountain pen and ink an affront I see

really needs my blood for this autograph

this was the point where I had to laugh

Would I trade my soul for money, fame a new flame?

the place inside where my words are framed, again and again

the part that gives me power, to be strong to belong

without my soul id be no one

I tore at the contract

felt it burn away on contact

said my final piece, shark like smile fades in disbelief

never in this life would I bend on one knee to this being of mischief

He vanished in a puff of smoke

the sulphur smell lingered strong, I choke

our meeting may have been brief

but its ending was a true relief

Thank you for reading,

Kyle.

the 100 club

100 posts!!!

wow, never thought i had so many words in me when i started this, so to hit 100 posts in 4 months is quite a big deal for me.

Back when i began my confidence was very low, i didnt feel my pieces were very good, but i do believe they have improved over the time, and will continue to improve as i learn more.

Just want to thank the people who have been supporting me over the last few years, without the help the guidance, the advice and the caring ear when i needed to rant i wouldnt be who i am today..

A person who used to struggle with leaving the house, whose depression would cripple him for days/weeks at a time, i still have these issues and more, but i am able to fight them better now.

So thank you to my family and friends, you all know your own names, Rebecca, Jasmine, Shamim, Sherry, Beckie G, Nick, Adam, Sharon, Mum, dad and my brother Damon, my uncle Steve who gave me great belief when i visit him in london, all my exs who have influenced my journey in the past. all the people i have crossed paths with.
And all the bands whose music kept me sane, when i was losing ground

Probably missing a bunch of people but just know that anyone who has been there with me it has been appreciated.

My words are not about anyone in general, they are often a mix of influences people places feelings and memories, mixed with some fiction and baked until golden and crisp.
Though some do go to some very dark parts of my mind, they are mostly about overcoming the battles and demons that have haunted me.

If anyone ever feels they are losing their grip, as if they have hit a downward spiral or a bottomless pit, dont hide away in it
ask for help, talk to people, dont let it beat you, i hope these words reach you.

Thanks everyone, 100 posts on to the next 100....
Kyle.

Dance away

Dance away like no one can see

come close to me

we can feel the rythm of the air

kiss me like we are the only ones there

The world could dissapear, my feelings would hold true

id rather just focus on me and you

forget all of the problems

our embraces will dissolve them

In our world, no one can judge our highs

as we set free our lives, just you and I

world outside will fade from view

as our love shines brightly through

We can escape anytime, away from this place

enjoy the silence of our own space

feel as the love flows deep in our hearts

hold on tight as the fear departs

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Voices

Make them stop, a cry erupts forward
the voices surrounding bay for more
wanting blood, only his will do, will make them stop
he cuts, the crimson comes forth in drips and drops

An escape he has used before, scars he tries to disguise
what would be his legacy? Torn flesh, feels despised
a million tears cried, another million dried inside
heart empty, lost, for all the people he pushed aside

The sounds in his mind, say this is his fate
his way to take away pain, lose the lead weight
rather than let them get in again
lets it flow free, lets his mind drain

Wishes and hopes must have been misplaced
the genie must have ripped up his notes in disgrace
as he cuts free another piece
soon he will fade from view, nothing to see

As if his head is filled with a thousand people
all telling him that he isn't wanted,this is their temple
he needs to depart it, or they will make this life hell
their home, no longer in control, not his own story to tell

No longer exists in his own mind
just a figment a fragment of time
as the sounds growl and roar
Can't take anymore

A guiding hand pushes away the blade
an arm on his shoulder breaks through his minds shade
Medication dulls the crowd, no longer out to hurt
life in his hands for the first time, no longer covered in dirt

Thanks for reading.  

If you ever have thoughs like these please ask for help. 

There are people out there who can help. 

You never have to fight these battles alone.

Kyle.
Artwork  © Rebecca Costello.

Distant star

The lone star, a distant sun, collapses in
consumes me, goes dark, as my heart did back then
we don't witness it go from view, so far away
just a feeling that is shared kept forever at bay

Even our telescopes don't pick up its demise
all those light years away, like thoughts of you, lost promise
the sad decay, an end of days, the last few rays
what was once a bright spark, my heart, fell away

The death of that light
like my memories of that last night
a shine gone dull
love lost its pull

The stars core cools, no longer burns true
as my feelings are no longer about you
a cold lonely part of the sky
no longer part of my life

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Water

Love flows like water, in so many ways
we find it in the strangest of places, let it amaze
when least expected we stumble upon
a river so vast and strong

Depending on the mixer water can be thick or thin
like love can be a mix of many things
good bad happy sad, all the things that can be had
don't regret it, never neglect it, feed it let it heal all bad

without water life cant exist, contains the building blocks
like love when eyes interlock
both give life in many different ways
so bathe in the deep oceans sway

never complain in the pouring rain
don't let it cause pain
let it remind of love you knew
or ones to come in times anew

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

Room with a view

Sat by the window, watch as life flies past

see as the world moves, like time, so fast

the ebb and flow of our waves on the land

the men and women hand in hand

Sat here watching, as the tide of people abound

crowd races by, as if time had run out

lost in their worlds, no time to stop and take note

miss the finer things, this place, so much to promote

Sat here in this room, a bar with a view

the faces rushing by seem so stressed, as they push through

constantly on the go, never a second to look inside

to find their own minds, to live, enjoy the ride

So much more than this, a word containing so many gifts

Art, music, passion and love, so many reasons to exist

affairs of the heart, of the mind, ways to unwind, so much more

if you just stop, look around, a whole planet to adore

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.

Loving prose

I write this flowing loving prose for the girl I love the most

she who entered my life, like a whirlwind along the coast

the one with flowery hair, as sweet as can be

the lady I desire, the only one for me

I write these words with my hearts red ink, a song of love

to the girl so special, we fit like a pair of gloves

the one with eyes so wide, so deep, divine, she sees into my soul

without this girl, who makes my world, I never would be whole

I write this poem to the one who completes the scene

the girl who brightens up the day, could steal the silver screen

her with lips so full, as soft as can be, need to be kissed

if she wasn't near me she really would be missed

These verses I write, for a lady of perfection

she makes my knees go weak whenever we make a connection

her whole being as stunning as the sun

my life if not with her, wouldn't be such fun

Thanks for reading.
Happy world poetry day
Kyle.

Nightmare

Bad dreams fill my head, worse I've ever had
full of hate, rage fuelled days of past, times when life was bad
try to wake, the monsters wont allow
their claws grip, blood drips, they contain me, stuck now

This vision of horror, filled with people I don't want around
judgemental, criticising they try to grind me down
the despise me, they lie to me, laugh in my face, try to provoke fear
I crumble, ground up, wound up, I stumble, hope the end is near

The night terror takes hold, like a roller coaster out of control
have to ride it, let go.fly through it, take the jabs, try not to fall
as the memories flicker, I shiver, a sense of terror envelops
I sweat, toss and turn as the dream develops

The ground holds me firmly in place, nowhere to escape
this is some thing i must face, no hiding in this dream scape
have to witness every scare
feel every attack as my heart starts to tear, here deep in its lair

The beast now loose and free, stalks around me
like a cat tormenting a mouse, he circles, I struggle to see
as he rushes in for a final assault, a scream starts to break free
see his face, his eyes, as clear as day, the beast is me

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

By its cover

To judge a book by its cover a notion so obscene
the pages within hold the truth, all the beauty between
A person can offer so much yet seem so insignificant
they can get into your thoughts make you feel magnificent

They can also crush your hopes, your goals, your entire world
sour dreams, set a downward path, with just a few hurtful words
They can make you feel small, you never mattered at all, lesser
they tear through your soul, let it fester

Never judge a lover by their covers, they may play a part
They may be the best of all a friend who steals your heart
They may be shy, quiet and scared, but they may surprise you
with their words, their thoughts always will hold true

Don't take their actions for granted, if they make you feel tall
if they make you feel special its the most precious feeling of all
don't push them away, treat them as if they are wrong
they have so much to give, they offer a love so strong

Never judge another, unless you have no faults
let them show the truth inside, the love in their vaults
the right one could be there standing right by your side
wishing to share their world, with one special person, with pride

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Bewitched

Bewitched by her beauty
transfixed by the sight lay in front of me
as she drifts deep in her sleep, the curtains catch a breeze
she holds me tight, I'm on my knees

Enchanted by her stunning gaze
her fragile delicate ways
like a flower sweet and wild
a brief glimpse at natures passionate side

Entranced I lay beside, her hand in mine
our thoughts entwined like one shared mind
she awakens, my heart quickens, paces, her embrace my wish
as she pulls me in close to kiss

Hypnotised by her dark piercing eyes
she sees deep into my soul, my heart a whole, let out a loving sigh
a connection so fierce, soul mates for life
electricity binds us, strong and kind, throughout any strife

Mesmerised by her loving side
a gift to all who know her, a true joyride
with her days always so special, every time a new tale
a brand new adventure, to share together, never a day is stale

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Clowns

The bells fall silent, news at ten told us
London called out its warning, nobody cared much
land of the rich, sick and diseased, on its knees
too many lies, to hide its dark side, it deceived

Seat of our nation
a place of great deprivation
they don't speak for you or me
only believe in their greed

Corridors of power hold so many ghosts
they want us to cower and believe their oaths
as they steal food right from the tables
of innocent people, it is disgraceful

Clowns in power, like hyperactive children
shouting, blaring and fighting, its mayhem
nothing gets done, nothing to help our causes
if they cant increase their wealth there are always clauses

Always on the brink of war, a money maker for sure
itching to send out our poor
to fight others who could be like brothers
they sit and count the gold coming in, as we suffer

Our health service, being ripped apart
by people who don't have an heart
a disservice to the people who make it work no help from above
the nurses and staff who give their all, with love

This land could still be great, if we found our soul
give some love, break down these old walls
for one and all, learn to give and share
not rich versus poor, just need to care

As the bells chime once again,  our capital awakens
illuminated by the sunrise of a new day, its intoxicating
a chance to make a change, our people deserve more
a chance to start fresh and be happy and pure

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

A Letter

A letter, sealed with a kiss, nothing less
can never send, it contains my every hope and wish
All my dreams secure within, to set free one day
to let them free early would waste them away

my pen flows freely, the ink releases my feelings
letting known all I believe in
the results cant be shared, would break the spell
would leave us apart that would be like hell

A note, shaped like an heart, my part written
forever will live on
the love contained on the page is love built from days away
long times apart as the oceans sway

Words composed on rose scented pages, to you addressed
me at my best, where my heart is blessed
they are the beat of the drum that pounds in my chest
soul turned to words, mean most read aloud, my love expressed

A book of these feelings could never convey
all the love I feel in just one day
all the times you are there, my muse, I must say
that with you I'm true and never could stray

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

This place

Thought I had escaped this place

the smell burns my senses, feel displaced

unhealthy taste in the air,

in this place of care

Had long put to bed this feeling of dread

a feeling inside, the prime of my life, wasted, dead

never asked for help, id suffered alone

now here in this bed wish I wasn't on my own

In my mind the cobwebs cover all surfaces, everything

the walls, halls, corridors, the skin, a tickling feeling within

my world, dirty, dank and grey

smells of death and decay

Can taste the air stale and thick

makes the stomach sick

in this deepest hell the shattered shell

sits awaiting the tolling of the bell

Stars shine brightest on the darkest nights

where flights of fancy take us towards the lights

we leave behind the sights

as we begin to fight for our lives

The wonderful joy of overcoming the fall

of battling on in spite of it all

we take our punches, the kicks to the guts

but never do we give up

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Stages

Don't go, stay, everyone goes away

was it something I said

did I not make you happy, was it a lie

a deceit to hide your other guy

If you have to go then leave

never come here again please

I cant be here begging on my knees

hoping for some reprise

Tried to be nice, the perfect guy

to make your life so fine, gave you all I could find

wrote songs of love, did all I could

never enough you wanted blood

So if you must go then go

lets not make a show

just walk away, no need to fight

just never call me late at night

If you need release, its the least I can offer

we are through, this love could never prosper

as if a weight lifted

the pain shifted

No longer miss your calls at night

realise you were never right

a selfish hateful catch, glad I threw you back

more to life than being under constant attack

So farewell my old flame

it was fun for a while, a shame

I hope we never meet again on these dark streets

this is a story I don't want to repeat

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Building layers

So lonely, these four walls, a retreat
too many beatings, hurt feelings, been mistreated
escaped by running, shutting down and shunning
the outside, a place of hate its dangers stunning

Alone, the gloom in this dark room
to much time spent in my head, entombed
the words wont come, I cant find them
or let them out, I need to shout

This isolation, unhealthy not good for me
cant find a way to release this nervous energy
so I grow a thick skin, to contain it in
a shell to hide within

In a group I am the stranger watching on
outside just looking in
cant find a way to fit, my voice sticks
you may judge, ridicule, I feel small, fear grips

No one sees me, the true being beneath
the layers still need peeling, to see me complete
the walls keep them hidden, I'm breathing
but I need releasing

So if I let you in, then you are a special case
not many I dare embrace
my heart is open for you
if yours is open too

If you break through the walls
I will give my all
trust should be treasured
it sees us through dark weather

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Snowdrift

Icy snow drifts from on high
setting a blanket, cold bright white
A chill wind bites the skin
bringing tears so sharp they sting

An old man, alone and frightened
can only pray the sun does brighten
no heat to help him clear
no love to save him, through this bitter cold, so severe

A strong breeze, temperature drops many degrees
catches the breath, pain in the chest, this deep freeze
Trudge onwards towards warmth, many cant, the flight desperate
their hearts cannot take this, helpless

Shivering masses huddle together
cuddle up against the weather
a community of souls
consumed by the cutting cold

The night, lit up by the snow cover
gives the air a magical colour
but underneath the delights the gorgeous sights
is a deathly cold that bites

Shattered hearts crack into shards
the cold takes hold and disregards
brings pain to all it touches, each snowflake a curse
making so many lives worse

Cant afford to warm their homes
cant seem to warm their bones
just sit in hope
to them this weather is no joke

As I fear the air grows clear
another ice tear falls near
takes hold of so many lives
makes them dread their plights

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.

Wails

Screams ooze through the air
a shrill strangled sense of despair
pierces the souls of all who listen
the fears hold her imprisoned

A longing, so lost, worth the admission?
at what cost? this deathly musician
her pain turns heads, drawn like moths towards flames
as her voice struggles and strains

Wails and moans, sing from deep within
chill our bones, her fragile mind stings
the human emotion at it most animalistic
needs the pain to stop, to cease it, the sound almost mystic

Her pain dwells deep inside
a shackle to keep her chained to the mind
her wails and fears break out at night
cut through the silence such a lonely fight

Thanks for reading
Kyle.

Artwork  © Rebecca Costello.

Hospital drama

Feel the beast awaken again, hungry to feed, to get free

it squirms within me,

like my body is just a host, left in shreds

to give it life to let it out, to keep it fed

Awaken in this darkened room again

memories flood in as the blood flows within

a crimson torrent crashing out

no warning sounds, just a spray of plasma and I'm down

The monitors beep, a shrill sound it creeps into my dreams

poked, prodded, my whole self tested, my innards inspected, as my heart screams

sleep deprived, as the days and nights collide, pushed to exhaustion

hopefully just a warning, to take caution

The creatures in the dark night
 awakened by such a pretty sight

wanting to give you blood and share their love

rather than take it from your life

My scarred insides, leave me scared outside, life can feel cruel

did all I could, followed all the rules,

looked after my health

treated myself, still I bleed

This time stronger, I can fight on longer,

not scared to ask for help, to accept love given, to prosper

not let it beat me down, or defeat my will

not form cracks in my shell, shall fight on still

Thank for reading.
Kyle.

Artwork  © Rebecca Costello.
Who without asking provided a piece that was exacty what i had in my mind!

medical stuff, nhs

So have been away for a few days, had a bit of a medical emergancy and have had to spend a few days in hospital being treated and treating myself.
The NHS often gets a bad name from people in the press or by those who dont stop to look at the amazing work these people  do day in day out.
I want to give my thanks to all of these people, no matter what role they have  they all do so much that doesnt get talked about. without the NHS i wouldnt be where i am today.

So thank you
and hopefully i wll be writing my words again very soon!

thanks for reading.
kyle