in dreams

Dreams, in sleep, new worlds to explore to leap, into unknown, new tales,

old places to visit, with new beginings and all it entails,

to delve deep into new retreats, sample new treats, enjoy unique feats.

A place you can fly, or swim without air, the options are endless, open ended.

An adventure to have, everytime you are there, the options are splendid.

like interactive movies, they move me, allow to live free,

Could be horror, fantasy or romance, each a unique dance, a chance to enjoy a new stance.

So dont put off sleep embrace it, let it take you away, feelings anew, a whole new world to break to.

thanks for reading.
Kyle (the tired poet)

writers doubt

I cant find the words, wrote ten pages, tore them all up, twisted verbs to set a new tone,

trying to hone a different meaning, delivering feelings, this never helped, the words have run dry.

I have nothing to say, did i ever, did any of this deliver, did it hit the brief, could it be released?

cant find a way to begin, is it even within?

 

do i have this right, can i even write?

ripped paper surrounds, cant find the sounds, the flow is all wrong, its too short, too long.

delivery is off, the beat doesnt work, its a waste of time, a waste of mind,

so i start again, i cant find the words....

thanks for reading.

one step at a time

Ripped out pages, torn up memories, old photos remind of distant times, 

where things were so different.

Self imprisioned by my own walls, put up to stop others getting in,

stop them from breaking down my defenses, breaking the shell, looking within,

 finding me empty aswell.

nothing to give, im nothing, i fear, this is what kept me locked up in here,

 this empty cell, with an unlocked door, my fears were the key,

 they made me feel weak,

not worthy of love, i could never trust, or let someone in to get under my skin,

These were my fears or some at least, are they banished for good?

 thats for us to see,

Time will tell if ive broken the spell, but the feeling is good and lifting aswell.

A step at a time, each day a new test

, but face it head on and come out the best.

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

New year

A page ends, the new diary begins, fresh, clean, 

no marks no words, just endless possibilities,

A year passed, say farewell to the ghosts,

its pains its heartaches, and lets share a toast,
To all the good that happened before,
And whats more, the future so clean, free, new to see, 

like fresh snow, untouched, a new show.
Hopes and dreams may come to pass, or may fade into dreams of the past, 

replaced with new hope, new potential scope,
so goodbye old ghosts, old miseries past,

 the future is new, the future is vast.

hope you all have a fantastic new year
thanks for being here
Kyle.

the voice

The veil lifted, darkness parted, fog dispersed as i heard the verse,

The song was sung, with a heart so strong,

So pure and unique, the singer never skipped a beat.

The voice of an angel, a lifting, lilting melody,

entrapped me, entrancing, took me away,

Away from the room, was just me and you,

A moment of time, so calm, clear almost divine,

just an interlude, a break in the play, a brief moment in a wonderful day.

Thanks for reading
Kyle

moonlit Dancefloor

The night holds us, grips us, the darkness takes us, sets us free,

It is our dance floor, the moonlight illuminating the streets, like a disco light,

A place to let our rhythms out, to dance away, not a care in sight,

no fear, no fright just us under the moonlight.

The cool wind chills, invigorates us still,

to keep up the beat, as we let out our dancing feet,

The sounds of the city are our music, its melody is engaging, it twists and it takes shape,

giving us a bass line to let our hips sway, as we dance the night away, under the moonlight.

thanks for reading

So i was never really happy with this, so here is revision 2....

The night holds us, grips us tight, the darkness envelops us, sets us free,

our dance floor, the moonlight illuminating the streets, like a disco light,

A place to let our rhythms out, to dance away, not a care in sight,

no fear or fright just us under the moonlight.

The cool wind chills, invigorates us still,

to keep up the beat, as we let out our dancing feet,

The sounds of the city our music, its melody engaging, it twists, takes shape,

giving us a bass line, lets our hips sway, we dance the night away, under the moonlight.

That stars above, twinkle in time, to the rhythm below,

give us a nice view, to share, just me and you,

as we move closer in tune, in time, we flow with the night,

as we hold each other and sway, under the moonlight.

we can not stop, the stars aligned, the planets chime with mystic sounds,

the universe alive, tempts us out, to feel our heats, and feel our grounds,

to share in our hearts that mysterious night, a love set alight,

as we kiss under the moonlight, a wonder, a delight.

thanks for reading,
kyle.

Stutter

Stutter, my voice cracks, heart a flutter,

cant find the words, mind closed, like a shutter,

blinded, thoughts binded, stuck in the gutter.

Sorrow, tears well, as i wallow,

Sick pain, nothing tastes the same,

i cant swallow,

cant escape though the river is shallow.

Lifting, A smile, some kind words, a gift then,

A ray of hope, through the clouds,

a glimpse of home, feeling warm, comforted, less forlorn.

A chance at last to escape the past.

Thanks for reading.
Kyle

new year 17-18

2017.

been quite a year....
so i thought id just write a few words about where i am, how i got here, why here even exists and just say farewell 2017 and hello to the next stop on this wonderful journey we call life.

As may be clear from my words, its quite easy to work out ive had some set backs over the years, and for the last ten years i had been living basically as a recluse, hidden away, too scared to get out of my house, other than to see doctors etc. this year i made a few breakthroughs, some quite big some small but each one was scary exillerating and have spurred me on to do more, each day a new part of the journey.

One of those steps was to start writing again, i last wrote about 5 years ago, i was drinking heavily t this point and without a lot of luck, love care and a sense of humour that would have killed me, it nearly did on two occasions, was in hospital for two months. anyway, long story short, i survived, i stopped drinking, i stopped writing. couldnt find any words, could not find any part of me anymore, felt like a shell..

2017, i got a feeling early this year that things would change, that id start to find me again. and so it began, slowly, pieces have started to fit into place, i have been doing more this last year than in the ten previously and i started to find the words were flowing better than in years.

I have a lot of people to thank for their help, i wouldnt be here without them, they stuck by me even when i would do my best to push them away,   those people most certainly know who they are, my family and my closest of friends.
this year has also introduced a few new faces into this storyline, some have been meerly brief interludes along the path, others i hope to be able to call close friends in years to come, but every single one has played their part in ways both big and small, so i wish you all a good time and a great future. heres to the next year, have a beer for me.


This year i have mostly been listening to 90's rock and indie music, still stuck in the past even as i try to move on in time.
Anyone that likes dark poetic lyrics etc should have a listen to Mark Lanegan, and read his excellent book, i am the wolf.

Anyway rambling over love from my heart to each person that gives a few minutes to look at my work and hope they get where it comes from.

2018 gonna be a hell of a year!

Rain

A cry for help, it never came

Alone, cold, afraid in this pouring rain

Adrift in my mind, Afloat an ocean of pain

A bed of thorns, i lay, the stings remain

Remind me of you, the way you knew

yet still you flew, fled left me for dead.

Blood, red, pours out of a broken heart, 

a broken man

A lost soul, a passenger with no fare home

 no guide to follow

no breadcrumb trail.

In time we forget, forgive, regret

we try to live, to make sense

though it never gets easier

it deals less pain

 this cold mournful rain.

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

Revisited this old piece, it is such a mess, no structure, just one or two interesting lines, so a quick rejig was in order.

Rain 2019 edition.

A cry for help, it never came, although I screamed its name
a bed of thorns, I lay, the stings remain
alone, cold, afraid in this pouring rain
adrift in my mind, Afloat on an ocean of pain

Life pours out of a broken heart, this bloodied man
a lost soul, a passenger with no fare home, no escape plan
no guide to follow, nor a breadcrumb trail
just the words she spoke, "You always Fail"

The words remind me of you
and the way that you knew
yet still you flew, fled left me for dead
alone and bruised, heart bled in this hospital bed

Time moved on, a day at a time, as the years start to slip
the words she spoke lessened their grip
although I still feel that pain
in the cold mournful rain

Still not happy with it but i feel it has a better body than before.

love

So beautiful, burning bright like the sun,

A feeling so strong, a growing closeness,

A glowing hostess.

Could it be she is here for me, or is thi a dream?

surreal as it seems, its real, i can feel.

As she pulls me close, i smell her scent,

Her fresh clean hair, still wet, and yet perfectly kept.

A vision of heaven, sent to tempt, who am i to turn away, not today.

A kiss, a shared moment of bliss,

A brief passage of time, lost in our eyes, holding her tight, a fire alight.

A dream could never be like this.

thank you for reading.
Kyle

swagger

I used to belong, id own these streets, i was a face people knew they would meet,

A swagger in my step, a a flow to my feet,

No worry or care, just me unafraid, 

yet unaware and unswayed.

After years of tears and fears, my step left me,

 i drained away, afraid to be seen, to claim my place,

my seat in this room, i hid at home, alone.

So many years have passed, its time to claim my swagger back,

 to grip my fears and throw them back, to let my feet guide,

 let my heart beat its rythme again, 

to set free my feet to dance in the cool night air, 

under the moonlit sky and soar high.

To be free. 

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

Drowned in sound.

Drowned in sounds, A song for every tear ive cried,

Some for moments of joy, my record collection reminds me of my girl and boy,

my distant children, a love that can never be lost.

Songs of anger, my playlist when i need to rage, to let rip, forget my age.

I have songs for all ive loved,

for each a different beat, a distinctive meaning, a particular feeling.

As no two loves are the same, as distant as far off lands.

Songs of loss, i have a lot, too many for someone so young, a message in each to get through, to gain, to grow, to regain my flow and fight on anew.

In my heart i have a song for each of you, i hope one day to share a special song with you, its meaning unique to us alone,

Thank you for reading.
Kyle

A lone crowd

Alone, in this room, An hundred people or more, yet alone, once more.

Lost just in thought.

No one to share, no one even knows im there,

As invisible as a fragment of dust, feelings laid bare, im scared.

A girl, so wise, beautiful and nice, she couldnt tell im alive,

would barely know i exist,

in this room, a lonely gloom ensues, engulfs and entombs.

Surrounded by faces, all look past me, see through me, around me.

Claustraphobic, need to escape it, run from this, or just stay and hide in plain sight,

just in front in the spotlight. they never see me there.

Thank you for reading

Mostly harmless??

Down it crashed, from above, from beyond,

The craft metallic blue, though organic,

as if made of tissue and skin, the beast lay within.

Seven foot tall, green skin, five eyes and teeth like razors,

a terror, a scary scaly sight,

a demon some would say in later days, if they only knew the truth,

We barricaded ourselves, inside, self contained,

A good place to hide,

the beast thudded past, each footfall a blast, we prayed it would be the last.

Gunfire filled the air, the military are here,

smoke and fire filled our lungs as they shot with their guns,

The beast fought hard, but was outnumbered, and it fell as if a slumber.

The news crews said, don't panic, its dead,

Sounds of jubilation and elation filled the air,

But we heard its last breath and in death a message,

the meaning clear and horrific to hear.

She only came to visit, to share her wares,

to set up trade and help our ways,

to give us technology to fight any malady,

A sense of dread filled the room, what had we done, running always for the gun.

We shoot first, question later,

Creature killed, placed in a refrigerator,

kept as a trophy, a morbid prize, this act would seal our demise.

her fleet arrived shortly after, a distress beacon, showed them the way,

they saw our barbaric deeds, we fired, the weapons evaporated in the blink of an eye,

this sentenced 10 percent to die,

 decimated, rich, poor, man woman child, just the animals were spared.

they left the world burning as day was dawning, this was our warning.

Was the warning heeded, no, all it succeeded in us building bigger better weapons in case they return.

humans, when will we ever learn.

Thanks for reading.
kyle

Hospital

Lost months in hospital wards,

oblivious, i slept, drugged and kept,

as you lived in fear, that death may visit here.

Rock bottom, took me, ground me down,

shook me, bled me , drained me,

Dreams took me, places unworldly, music it healed me,

in my soul a lifting, a feeling a meaning.

Too old to die young, to young to go so soon,

I floated, my hospital room, my hotel.

A long battle to come, a journey a dread, a tear slipped,

 the start begins here, life without fear.

Thanks for reading.

kyle

Blood moon

Blood red moon, dark room

Voices scream, too soon

Darkness falls, mood flips

Anger rises, the gloom hits.

Dreams disturbed by bad thoughts

happiness collapsed, distraught, distrust

grinded halt, backwards,crushed, rotten feelings turned to dust

need to find a way forward.

Three words, truest lies

How much to despise, at our demise

hate thoughts, brings a void

only then a reward.

Thanks for reading.
Kyle

he/art

She Came to me, like a vision, a sight to behold, a dream untold

My heart beat a million times to see her and it skipped a million more

To know her blew my mind, to hold her made me whole, made me glow

Made my world, my universe and beyond.

She walked away as i lay, just drifted away, like a ghost in the night

A spirit, took a slight flight, and i lay alone, heart broken, sunken and slowly drowning.

A moment a brief passage of time, yet our souls alligned for a reason to share that season,
 to have that spell,  to create those memories and dreams

Never regret a broken heart,  holds so much potential,
such energy , it can grow, reborn to love anew.

Thanks for reading.
Kyle

Anxiety

Fear grips my chest, squeezing my heart

 my lungs and taking my breath

The panic sets in, a long night ahead

cant go to bed, cant stay awake, a limbo state.

Anxiety tricks the mind

puts thoughts and feelings in first place

to create a state, a self hate, a dread, a creeping darkness

 a hostile mindset, a threat.

Thoughts flow, wish they would go

no escape, nowhere to run, just have to ride on through

which i do, and the storm passes, the murk clears

 my bed calls, the night  fears a memory, that will pass

 until the next time my chest feels like glass and the fear starts anew.

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

walk alone

Walk alone, Along dark roads home

Cold air freezes my tears, as i remember the years

Dark skies bring dark thoughts

dark minds take on dark times

A saviour, a safety net, a blessing

A fleeting feeling, freeing, a dream of better

A close shave, Blood flowed, the hurt, the hurt,

the hurt it mellowed fleeing

Chance meetings, gave me belief

A new path, set free a better brighter me.

Thanks for reading.

Kyle

be the change, spare some time.

You walk right past, a stain on this town

a mess, a sad decline, a waste of time, a blight a horrible sight

A waste of time

Look in the mirror, you are just the same, and less

a diseased mind, self obsessed, a crime

A day in their lives, you would cry and moan

Wishing you were home, in comfort and warmth

with your TV your gadgets, your phones

There is room for all, so stop judging, make peace, stop begrudging

give some love it never hurts, it can build lives and shatter walls

a kind word can melt hearts, a smile can warm the soul. so help them stand tall.

Thanks for reading.
kyle   

Recovery and regrowth

 First post, so here goes, my mind is open my pen flows....

An Addicts mind, a dangerous place

it never stops, it keeps searching, seeking its next hit

taking anyone down that trys to stop it

breaks all it touches and turns it to shit

A fragile state, a frozen time

A bad day, a bad year, a wasted life

All flows to you, the thing that makes it go

that dulls all the hurt, yet makes it grow

it fires me on, it makes me low

Each drop killing slowly, til you drop, or stop

no choice, no chance, just the roll of the dice, a bad vice

a device of hate a fragile frozen state.

Thanks for reading.
A lot of my words may seem dark or down, but they are written with a feeling of regrowth and positivity.