Behind closed eyes

 

I sit with my eyes

closed tight,

watching the swirling

starburst in my mind.

Seeing the lights

fizzle and flash,

dart and slash, burn and crash.

Like fireworks,

they explode

and

I watch

as I catch

wayward hearts

as they fall

like snow

upon my tongue.

They make me

want to burst into song,

but I know that if I try

my voice will not come.

 

Because times hands

are not yet

swishing around

at a million spins

every blink,

the universe

isn’t yet ready

for what is yet to come.

When the storms

subdue

and our

lighthouse glow

outshines the moon,

like nightlights

giving hope

to the many

and the few.

 

I sit.

A set of

jittery thoughts

raise up from

the pit of my

stomach.

Fluttering,

flapping

across every space

Then they take

Their place

behind

my eyes,

mingling with

the internal

lovelorn sighs.

My face

Reddens,

but I don’t

mind

 

So, I sit

with these

thoughts

closed tight.

Counting the stars

behind my eyes.

The millions

that shine so brilliant

and bright.

The hope

it swells

in swirling fields,

and the bitter pills

will no longer

need to be

delivered,

because love

will heal more than

any medicine

ever could.

Looking back

 

I spent so long looking behind me

at where I was,

I never saw what lay ahead,

or how the walk

was changing my stride,

I didn’t see that

who I was trying to be

had long ago died,

that there was someone else

blooming inside.

A flower ready to sway,

or the wind that blows

the cobwebs away.

 

I looked so long

at where I’d been,

what I’d done, who I’d been,

what went wrong,

that I didn’t hear the song

those birds were singing

so loud,

and yet I was stuck

on a different beachside,

watching another tide,

when the only one that was right,

was already there by my side.

 

I had my eyes closed.

 

I was sleepwalking in a daze

unaware that the glare was from within,

not from the world I was escaping.

I had so much in front of me.

so much to be thankful for,

so much love that if I let it hold my core

I’d melt into a puddle on the floor.

Happy in the knowledge

that I had been on the right road all along.

Locked in a heartbeat

 

I’ve been drifting

these last weeks,

seeing my energy shifting

and finding myself lost

in its static, I’ve found

my mental state starting to flag,

and those flags are swaying

in the winds that flow in so heavily.

 

I’ve been lost.

A stranger in my own mind,

walking a path that wasn’t mine.

Reading from a book

where the wrong passages

were underlined.

Where I couldn’t find answers

for they were not written for me,

but for a person that lived in my body

so many years previously.

 

You see I’ve changed with the seasons.

I’ve become weather-beaten,

but that has softened some of my edges

it has weakened some of my defences.

It has shown that speaking of hope

is not a weakness, but a release,

but I see now the mist is clearing.

I know what I need to do with my life.

I am a poet. My words are my truth,

and they speak of the love I hide,

So, when I speak of love,

know that I speak of you.

 

They speak of the one

that I won’t name aloud.

For fear is a cloud

that brings too many storms

to this town.

So, I’ll stand on stage

with a book in hand

and I’ll sing of love.

I’ll swim in the glow,

knowing that the magic is all true,

and if you know too

then please hold it within

wherever your path leads you.

For love is universal

and it flows in the atoms,

so, it matters not if our bodies connect

for our souls are locked in a heartbeat.