Looking back

 

I spent so long looking behind me

at where I was,

I never saw what lay ahead,

or how the walk

was changing my stride,

I didn’t see that

who I was trying to be

had long ago died,

that there was someone else

blooming inside.

A flower ready to sway,

or the wind that blows

the cobwebs away.

 

I looked so long

at where I’d been,

what I’d done, who I’d been,

what went wrong,

that I didn’t hear the song

those birds were singing

so loud,

and yet I was stuck

on a different beachside,

watching another tide,

when the only one that was right,

was already there by my side.

 

I had my eyes closed.

 

I was sleepwalking in a daze

unaware that the glare was from within,

not from the world I was escaping.

I had so much in front of me.

so much to be thankful for,

so much love that if I let it hold my core

I’d melt into a puddle on the floor.

Happy in the knowledge

that I had been on the right road all along.

Locked in a heartbeat

 

I’ve been drifting

these last weeks,

seeing my energy shifting

and finding myself lost

in its static, I’ve found

my mental state starting to flag,

and those flags are swaying

in the winds that flow in so heavily.

 

I’ve been lost.

A stranger in my own mind,

walking a path that wasn’t mine.

Reading from a book

where the wrong passages

were underlined.

Where I couldn’t find answers

for they were not written for me,

but for a person that lived in my body

so many years previously.

 

You see I’ve changed with the seasons.

I’ve become weather-beaten,

but that has softened some of my edges

it has weakened some of my defences.

It has shown that speaking of hope

is not a weakness, but a release,

but I see now the mist is clearing.

I know what I need to do with my life.

I am a poet. My words are my truth,

and they speak of the love I hide,

So, when I speak of love,

know that I speak of you.

 

They speak of the one

that I won’t name aloud.

For fear is a cloud

that brings too many storms

to this town.

So, I’ll stand on stage

with a book in hand

and I’ll sing of love.

I’ll swim in the glow,

knowing that the magic is all true,

and if you know too

then please hold it within

wherever your path leads you.

For love is universal

and it flows in the atoms,

so, it matters not if our bodies connect

for our souls are locked in a heartbeat.

We live in unknown dreams

 

We live in the oddity,

the uncomfortable

reality, where our bodies

only work in 3 dimensions,

but our souls

are everywhere all at once.

I can be in my room,

but my mind is with you.

I can be lost in a woodland

dream, when my body is

somewhere

laid out in a different life.

The moments that sweep through us,

mere ghosts of time,

always seeking tomorrow

when tomorrow is just a fiction

as time only lives in the now.

And how

when I close my eyes

I see your blue sky

and I feel just a little bit

closer to fine.

 

We live in the sentiments,

in the monuments,

in the moments when there is

nothing and everything.

Because our hope springs eternal,

and our love sits external

where it drifts on clouds.

Whilst our internal thoughts

cloud us in uncomfortable

designs.

I sign a heart on a page

that I then set alight.

Letting the embers drift so high.

because our hearts are eternal

and can already fly.

 

We live in the unknown.

A Schrodinger’s world of

who we are and who we show,

who we want to be, and with whom.

It’s a swirling masterpiece

of colours. Soft brushstrokes teasing those

flows of reality into their own playground.

Switching the view. But the constant

pull of the gravity in you is consistently

making me feel as though the world

is trying to paint itself as

the perfect place for me and you.