Old Ghosts

Time

To reflect; gaze into the mirror

the stories of yesterday, hazily shimmer

like looking through fog at a distant star

the image blurred, the edges softened by ageing eyes

old ghosts, let them lie

forgive the past and the tales it told

enjoy the future, that in your hand you hold

Time

To see the youthful face of those days

replaced by the wisened figure that stands in his place

raise a glass, share a toast

forgive the memories; the ones that hurt the most

old ghosts, let them lie

have the time of your life, smile more don't sigh

Time

To look through the looking glass at the future you hold

let your story unfold, allow it to be told - let the sun shine down, rays of gold

leave old ghosts in yesterdays shadows, as you walk into tomorrows clear glow

life; still so much to learn so let the drinks flow. Enjoy the show

And as the clock strikes, let fire light the skies

bring a bit of daylight to midnight

as yesterday dies and tomorrow is born in front of our eyes

let those old ghosts lie

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Happy New Year.

Kyle.

 

Season of memories

I remember the first blooms of spring
a love so new, the buds just flowering
the first sprouts of green through the dust coloured lands
the first time we touched - hand against hand
nervously waiting, tensing inside
to see if the new born feelings were shared or denied

I remember the embers of that summer
as they floated, endlessly it seemed
aimlessly into the dark recesses of my dreams
the candyfloss soft embrace of late night kisses
twilight warmth rages into daylight heat and love's sweet blisses
an inferno of passions in our youthful eyes
memories shared under red hot skies

I remember the autumn, its golden ways
as the days drew in and the sun burned an orange blaze
we danced under those sun rays, kissing and holding onto each others gaze
even as the trees dropped their amber leaves
we never took a second to drop our beats
our hearts so in time, in tune they drum
over those final days of autumn

I remember the chill as winter fell
a somber way to break a spell
the kiss you stole left me cold
for you took it from another soul
the heart you broke wasn't yours to break
lost love left me to ache
a cracked icy lake of tears greeted the cold sun at daybreak
   
I memorised the year, let it seep into every pore
for each tear, every bellowed roar, never again I swore
but then the sun rose and set, its heat flowed and helped me reset
I learned to forget, let go of the pain and regret
and slowly the first shoots of spring, were flowering again

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Belong?

Am I just a bit part in the story?
An NPC in your RPG, with no lines to speak
am I the character that is killed in the first act
before the curtain falls
as the interval drinks spill, my tale lost to all

Are you the last one standing
am I the supporting act, the warm up artist to keep the crowd from disbanding
a third place runner in a field of two
the last minute rewrite, my lines on the cutting room floor - never to view
my role, left holding the door
whilst the crowd clamour through, begging for more
I'm standing at an entrance to a place that I don't fit
a party I'm not invited to; not a guest on the list

Am I a late replacement to a last minute date
the blank slate, a blank faced nobody that just sits in space
back row singer in a chorus of song
no voice of my own, no-one turned the microphone on
no words to read, no script to follow
just here to make up numbers, all feels so hollow

Am I second rate
or third in line; do I wait?
born too soon or a bit too late
is my mind too much or too little to please
it feels like a disease, this place fills me with unease

Am I last in line to a throne that will never be mine
one that I don't even want or have no designs to climb
am I supposed to be here, or did I take the wrong pathway before
should have taken my time, checked it was the right door
maybe this is the way it should be
a tale that I cant see;  the ending - still all a mystery
 

So I bide my time, watch the story unfold
let the pages fly by, find a place to behold
see where the story goes
who knows may end up the star of the show

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love. 

Kyle.

To all the non gaming geeks out there, 

NPC - A Non Playable Character,

RPG - Role Playing game!

Treading Water

Where do we go from here
treading water for too many years
keeping afloat; though never moving
feet are tired but the water's soothing

If I stay then there is no big act three
no final arc, no resolution to life's mystery 

I'll just one day sink under the waves
a slow decent into a watery grave
If I swim after the wrong star, I could be lost
all for a shot in the dark, a chance of hope, is that worth the cost?
 

Do I try to swim against the current?
have I the strength? muscles already ache from years of torment
what if I try to fight, what comes next
if I try will I be pulled into the depths
by unseen hands, or some Lovecraftian curse, 

an unseen force under the shimmering waves of course
a watery end to the stories discourse

Do I scream for aid, don't think my lungs can hold that much air
and I've not seen a boat of plane passing near
just me alone, an island afloat
an island of man, in distant waters - somewhere remote

Are those sharks in the water, looks like a fin reflecting in the sun
but my story shouldn't be over, I fear its barely even begun

I cant keep treading here, just kicking my feet
when the beasts of the deep are circling, ready for a meaty treat

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Sober

Thoughts reflect on a clear lake

a clean break, through the icy sheen that you mistake

for a good time, a life line left longing for cloud nine

the reflective mind searching for reason, some grand design

A shot of fire

to dull your icy mind

to burn the thoughts you find

like a photograph in a fireplace

forever burning, the embers singed into the mind

memories of forever, burning so unkind

Through the maze

of drunken days

alleyways pass as I stagger sideways

lost nights

last nights, lost fights

staggered falls on the side streets of life

The morning pint

the mourning sign

an old pub sign creaks in the dawn light

nightmare last calls

echo as we fall

fall to our knees

fall as we fail to beat the disease

Sobering, the way that life lights the path

sometimes, takes a stroll in the dark, to finally see the aftermath

of a world where you can't live without the internal wrath

When the alcohol has drowned

and the sun burned down

when the moon turns around - walking away

stars blink out, showing their dismay

Faces leer at you, with a sense of unease

as if you have a contagious disease

a parasite feeding on the flesh

an illness, not a human being making slow progress

The world stops turning

as your whole universe is spinning

yet still you reach for the bottle to control the ill feeling

its the only way to fit in

You no longer know your own mind

thoughts come, like a crowd from outside

shouting you down

or egging you on to get another round

slowly digging your own hole in the ground

Liquor burns like fire

stings the raw throat as life starts to expire

like salt, lemon and lime

rubbed into the cuts that life supplied somewhere down the line

long ago in a different space and time.

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Christmas 2019

The last few days have been extremely difficult, My mother has been in and out of hospital with breathing difficulties, so have had to spend a lot of time away from this side of my life.
Times like this remind me what a great job our National Health Service workers do. Working all hours - dealing with so many people at the hardest times in their lives.
People often moan about waiting times and such like, but when you see the staff almost dead on their feet from a gruelling shift you know that this isn't caused by a lack of care. It is the shortages in staffing numbers, the lack of funding that goes into our great system.

So this will probably be my last post before Christmas, So I wish everyone a great time.
The last year has been difficult to say the least, losing my father in April and having to find the mental and physical strength to get through life since has been tough, but I have had a lot of help from some Amazing friends and supporters, you all know who you are,  I want to thank all of you.
But the year has also been filled with positive moments.

My first ever live performance, a poetry slam win, some books that I'm very proud of.
and into the new year there will hopefully be more new experiences and high points.
In January I will be part of the Some-Antics Poetry Slam championship, all of the winners of the last year will be competing and it is going to be a great night, so if anyone is in the Leicester area on January 3rd, then please come along - The talent on display is amazing.

Hoping to begin work on my next poetry book fairly early into the new year, I have some rough Ideas so will keep you informed on this page and via Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Thank You for following my work, it is much appreciated, There will be much more in future!
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Sometimes (With Video and Live Performance)

Sometimes the face lies
smiles portrayed disguise the rotten feelings inside
hide behind a mask; tied over flooded teary eyes
He smiles, A bit too much, and way too wide

Sometimes the life of the party feels dead within
filled with internal dread, beneath the costumes and the tales he spins
hiding in plain sight his act too loud, his dancing too proud
the pain he feels at his life running out

Sometimes the one that wants to help, to be the guiding star
the bright spark in a sky so dark, is the one calling for help from afar
so lost in the world, he just cannot cope
feels alone, left on a shelf of no hope

Sometimes the one who offers his heart on a page - love his gift
the one that will always be there when you need help or a lift
always offers his arms to hold
sometimes he is the one that needs a hand as his world feels grey and cold

Sometimes the one who will always talk, always there when you need
the one who will always speak, replies with speed
often sits by his phone at night
waiting in the pale moonlight for someone to call and ask if HE is alright

Sometimes the one that stands on the edge
tear filled eyes glazed over, sadly eyeing the ledge
where the cliff side bleeds from the night sky, you'll find him
the strongest of us - his thoughts are not on jumping
even though life is a jumble, and he struggles, head thumping
he is viewing the horizon
to watch a new dawn arising
taking in the view
of a future brand new

Thanks For Reading.
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Lonely Highways

Said too many goodbyes
lost too much in that time
when did the world fall out of line
was I away, asleep or awake in a daze, walking blindly along lonely highways
 

No more times will I speak those words aloud
goodbye - I'll save the vowels, I'll turn them around in my mouth
until they spell out a line about seeing you again
somewhere distant, but not lost nor surrounded by miserable rain

I wont say goodbye, not again, not ready to hear those words on my lips
so I'll twist the verbs, shift the letters, cut the words using little snips
until they form a sentence that sits a little better
until I can write them in a verse, or in a letter
maybe in a song
one written as a welcoming hug not a lonely so long
 

Not ready for those words to turn to tears, not going to say goodbye 
words like ice, dripping from the corner of eyes
I wont say farewell, I will ask that you spare that hell
I will offer love as a guide, and hope it serves you well
a light in the dark, a lamp in this cavernous heart
not an end to a story but a whole new start

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Not Afraid

Not afraid of the night

nor the darkness lurking outside

more scared of the hints of light, 

they make things seem like the perfect twilight

the shifted haze of darkened hues, 

a sun glow twisted through the filter of a rose tinted view

Not scared of monsters with teeth bared

or demons with my soul impaled in their lairs

I'm more scared of the heart that pretends to beat, 

makes you believe then kicks you in the teeth

the sweetest glow on her rose tinted cheeks, 

a disguise to hide the beast beneath

Terrified of sinister visions in the night? not I

ghouls that prowl, they just raise a sigh

the scariest things are the glimmers of hope 

they shimmer on rivers of long lost dreams

bringers of glowing smiles that deceive, 

those endless tears; a rose tinted stream

Not scared of the underworld walkers, the hell bound stalkers

very rarely cross over those fiery borders

I'm more scared of the sight that wanders my sleep

haunting my visions she glows with a fire inside, 

she hides a wicked side

 that make my rose tinted eyes weep 

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

My own cell

Showed me the light

but then were gone

left in darkest night

where once you shone

Close all the doors

rebuild walls

barriers repaired and restored

replace the pieces that I left to fall

Better to hide than face this life

and the cold wind that blows

feel the flood waters rise

stay in the shadows

avoid the sneering vengeful eyes

I know its not healthy, to hide this way

but the other path just leads to misery

and thats a door I dont want to be knocking

so I build my own cell and hide the key after locking

Snarling sounds in my ears

the vicious words implied

ringing out like the bells of new year

or fireworks exploding inside

I let my defenses fall, fell for lies

ties and binds that blindsided my eyes

I scrawled my name in blood

to remind myself of where I once stood

the smiles worn so perfectly, I let them in

bloodstained teeth disguised by a cheerful grin

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle

Years

Years tore past since I last looked into those eyes
time splashed the sepia tinged pages with new colour flashes,
clashing tears, on your shoulder cried
so long since eyes did greet
the worn photograph my only retreat
smiles, distant dreams, frozen memories I still meet

Years since I left that house, under a cloud of grey
so long ago my life stolen away
smiles now barely touch my lips
lost the path, led into a routine of stumbles and trips

Dream time in the night, I sigh, under cover of starlight shyness

I see those eyes, a lighthouse in a storm filled sky, a lightness
once lost in an ocean of hurt now a saviour of sea weary travellors
we see wary traversers of distant continents around us
to learn, so much to learn, so much, to learn
whilst I sat alone in my home, watching memories burn

I framed the picture, lined with a new scripture
a story of love written in flowing ink, my bare walls only fixture
ripped and torn, faded yellow edges
takes pride of place next to my old ledgers
and I close my eyes, dream of forests of words
blowing gales, turning the pages, the memory blurred  

Thanks For Reading

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

When Will We Learn?

When will we learn?

We voted in our jailers

the creators of prisons of hate; that gate us

the architects of division and fear

we adhere to their lie filled sneers

we allowed them to engineer our own downfalls

and are then expected to cheer as their jeering faces accept the windfalls

When will we learn?

Turned our backs on people, care became a swear word

hope, a lost cause, like a snowflake in a flurry

as long as your okay, don't worry, as long as the bills are paid in a hurry

as long as our money goes into the pockets of our leaders

and not the hands of a beggar who just wants us to feed her

When will we learn?

We have one life, so why do we fill it with hate and bile?

wouldn't it be better to look at the world with hope once in a while

we had a chance...

just a chance, but it was better than asking the devil for a dance

it was a glimmer of hope, a distant lighthouse though the smoke

but we always turn on those who want us to look out for other folk

When will we learn?

When a man who just wants peace,

is willing to converse and learn to listen to our pleas

we always knock them down, and call them weak

instead of investing in the thoughts that are shared

we detest them, point and laugh in jest; at the thought that we humans can care

When will we learn?

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Seven Days

Seven days, that's all it took

just one hundred and sixty eight hours of bad luck

on the Monday a storm cloud hung low down, deep in my throat; a rumbling, gurgling sound

smile turned to a frown, the red mist stung like a poisonous flower in the dead ground

Tuesday a thunder strike ripped my heart,shocked me to my core - tore a crooked scar

lost; a distant star flailing in space so very far

Wednesday turned the week into a battlefield, Lightning blasts like missiles crash

fought over memories, overwrought with misery as my life flashes past

Armed with the knowledge that this storm was getting worse

alarms neglected, rejected, dove deep as the waters churned, a lesson learned
 or an unleashed curse

Thursday ignored the flood warnings, banks let loose; a lake of regrets

all bets were off, the floodgates tore free, banknotes could offer no safety nets

Friday I'm drowning, under the red waters rising

I try to escape but my boat keeps capsizing

hands drag me down under the surface, like lead weights, the dead wait

congregating to seal my tomb and with it my fate

Saturday stalls the storming winds, no longer bellowing, they merely ring

just echoing distant dreams of yesterdays words, there to remind of the pain they bring

and I lay under a crimson moon, peacefully in tune with what I need to do; a walk through hell

to repair my broken shattered soul, my punctured heart and weary shell

Sunday gives a chance of hope at last, as the sun breaks fast

cracks through the darkness like a cannon blast, to give meaning to the pain amassed

the road to recovery is a long and lonely walk, a slow path to where?
that's the part we don't know

but with each step you take, a new spark glows, and inside you start to grow

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

River of streetside lights

You remind me of a dream I once lived; those eyes delve deep inside

a lucid fantasy where my sweetest memories reside, your hair the waves under which I hide

walking the streets; just the ghost of a footprint, seen on snow covered pavements

like a snowflake floating on the breeze, free from all enslavement

Ashamed to be so lost in my head, the thoughts that spread

whilst my frozen heart beats alone at home waiting in dread

I lay awake with my eyes closed tight

Asleep I walk under dazzling glare, a thousand moonlit sights; a river of streetside lights

You remind me of a life once dreamed; a mere illusion

walking in this town of fiends - hand in hand; hearts burning hot - a passion of nuclear fusion

your lips - the heat they bring, fire energy, warmth; such beautiful words they sing

I never want to wake, the icy tomb that awaits is like a prison where the walls sting

Thanks for Reading.

Peace And Love.

Kyle.

A Billion Points Of Light

 

I dream of a place where people are not abused for having a different face
where people embrace difference, where it doesn't matter your birth place
I dream of stars, us a billion points of light
life inspired by love and art, not fight or flight

I dream of a land of individual flair, not a herd being led to despair
of a billion flares in the sky, celebrated not broken beyond repair
I dream of stardust, our combined brilliance shining through the rust
of a land of smiles, hope and trust

I dream of rainbow seas, open oceans of beauty
lakes of tranquil water to set us free, cleanse the hate that coats humanity
I dream of a billion blazing fires, shining inside like burning suns
a world of wonder, a world of fun, a world for everyone    

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Blank page

Young and unafraid, unfazed by the fears of later years
unburned by the fires that blister, or the sting of acid tears
heart not yet broken, or bruised or even really used
if I could go back and tell all, would he listen on confused?

Too dumb to see the stains caused by the pouring rain
too self obsessed to see the pain caused by his drunken brain
a blank page not yet written, a story not yet delivered
if I could go back and tell him, would he shiver with hate like a man in a blizzard?

Too focused on the love of the night, the parties, the sights
the rock and roll life, he wanted his name in lights
but he hadn't lived a life, a blank page with no words to write
if I could go back and tell him, would he put up a fight?

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Time

Time creeps by so fast
one blink and a year has passed
two and you're an outcast, lost to all but a few old flames
three and you are a distant shadow, a mis-remembered name

Time crashes along like a heart beating away
one beat and tomorrow has turned into yesterday
two and the world has forgotten the way you walked your own path
three and your songs are lost, buried in the aftermath 

Time flies like a bird of prey glides the skies
one flap of a wing and the future has passed before your eyes
two and the sunrise leaves you with only sighs
three and you are not recognised, yesterdays prize

Time swoops at such speed, so catch it before it leaves your grasp
chase your dreams, don't wait for the next sunrise to elapse
tomorrow could be a lifetime away, a fragile stay
so don't waste today waiting for tomorrows dreams to become yesterdays

Time will outlast us all, so don't wait for the right hour to fall
the perfect moment doesn't exist, so make the right call
don't sit and watch the clock, the hands wont stop
they just keep spinning long after you've dropped

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Amongst the stones

Amongst the stones, where stories of old are sown
where the tales of yesterday are lain to rest, I stand alone
the mossy grass that stains the grey, the inscriptions; tributes on display
tell of lives where memories once thrived, now only survived by plaques to mark the day

Amongst the statues and tombs, reminders of days gone too soon
I walk alone, under the new moon
Names; too many to take in. Dates; too vast to even imagine
yet each one had history, a part of life's great tapestry within

Amongst the columns and markers of the lost souls departed
I walk alone, surrounded by stories of life; new paths uncharted
I listen to their tales, as the chill wind exhales
the past lives lived in the blowing cold gales

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Depression

Just want to sleep, take refuge in a peaceful dream
away from this world where I feel ill at ease; the fog of internal screams
want to walk through a land where my eyes don't fill
with tears at the shrill sounds that chill
but I know those sounds are just in my head
they will be just as loud when I am asleep in my bed

Just want to be free from this constant pain
not a physical ache, or the burn of a sprain
but a feeling that gets inside your bones
into the organs and through your veins, the feel of a million moans
all shouting in unison, a chorus of poison and abuse
but its no use, it oozes into your head like a demonic muse

Just want to smile, laugh and joke - enjoy life without this inner trial
but how can you rejoice in a fun lifestyle, when your own head is acting so hostile
when it wants to jeopardise any chance of being happy
or sap your energy so that you only feel snappy
how can you find joy, in the warmth of a sun beam
when inside you're trying desperately not to scream

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Anxiety and me + Spoken Word video thingy

The shades fall; black and cold

shakes start to take hold

can't escape, eyes dart across vacant faces

my feverish heart aches, chest pounds; hitting all the wrong places

thudding like a tribal war drum - only the beat is out of sync

on the brink, my eyes blink

Feels like the edge of a breakdown, like looking at oblivion through a dust cloud

my thoughts are too loud

panic stricken, eyes itch, hands twitch, feel my pulse quicken

fear feels like a melted clock face, the hands wildly race around; as adrenaline kicks in

want to shake the thoughts free

but they consume me, a prisoner of anxiety

it takes all my focus to remember how to breathe 

counting 1 to 10, gives a brief taste of relief

I pick a song to tune out the grind

take a second to close the blinds

relax into the oceans of sound that you find

learn to breathe again, and remember that its just a state of mind

The shades start to lift; panic starts to shift

the shakes dull down, the twitches start to drift

The war drum slows, thuds now just background noise in the shadows

as my head hits the pillow, I can close my eyes and dream of tomorrow

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Storytellers

You weave great worlds, with just a few select words

you craft universes; strands of imagination, that we can fly across like birds

a mind of wonder, where would you wander? if only your dreams were real

what would you do, where would you go, how would it all feel?

Poets and authors, storytellers and songwriters

the imaginative creators, the world building dream fliers

you tear apart galaxies, rearrange the stars

with just a few lines of prose from the heart

You tell stories, myths, legends and dreams

tales of the world seen through eyes that gleam

history, mystery, horrors and tragedy, a vast ocean of genres to explore

romance, comedy, science and mythology, humanity can be so much more

In this theatre of life, our narratives play on

the dramas and traumas, adventures unravelling like a ball of yarn

so open your minds, let your brain set sail

into the legends we tell and the truths we sell

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & love.

Kyle.

 

Ageing skin

As hands of the clock spin out, I barely recognise
the look behind dark sunken eyes
I used to despise the passing of time
that marked the end of my youth and my missed prime
ageing skin, wrinkles setting in, hair grey and thin
puppy fat turned to rolls and double chins

As time races I have had to learn to embrace this
for every crinkle in my face, I've a story of a joyous first kiss
for every hair that sheds, like grey leaves from trees
I've a memory that forms the smiles you see
for each ounce of fat, I've a tale to regale
years of fables and myths to bring to the table

As the waves of time wash over the shores
destroying a little more of the land from before
this old shell taken a beating, my bones creak and crack
I moan from the ache in the small of my back
but now I try to smile, for it has served me well
Ive survived a few trips to hell
It stayed with me even as people left
and will remain until my last breath 

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Away from the pack

Far from the pack, he cries at the moon

no more a howl, his moan out of tune

a wilderness walk towards the dark

his yelp no longer a bark

The lone wolf wants the warmth

of a partner who stalks the same haunts

wants to run wild and free, feel the wind on skin

to let out the roar within, with another that makes the world spin

Away from the pack, the wolf sits back

a whimper for the love that he lacks

his bite no longer a scary attack

he hunches along, alone under a sky of black

Sits distant, curled; just wishing

a life led so different, a life where something isn't missing

a dream he had as a pup, of hope and love unbroken

he closes his eyes to sleep, hoping that those dreams are one day re awoken

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

 

Fire

Fire combusts, consume me it must
to continue to burn, it needs to turn all to dust
I am its tool, the paper or coal it uses to refuel

to melt through to the ruby jewel

the slow beating heart

entombed in icy walls, where passions start

The dancing flames flicker and spark

kindling the cold shell, the fire cuts through the dark

the heat starts to rise

in your eyes; where love lies

icy walls begin to thaw

heart beats a little faster than before

Now ablaze, like a forest fire, a wild flower

dancing in the midnight hour

the inferno flairs into the cool night air

the floating embers scatter; to light the atmosphere

walls destroyed; a puddle where ice once filled the void

heart beats to the tune; overjoyed

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Read the signs

The lights are Amber, be aware
watch out for hazards there may be danger there
Single file traffic; The road ahead closed
please wait in line for the green light to show

No right turns, only wrong roads taken
be aware of speed bumps; leave some space to brake in
get in the correct lane, follow the signs
stay on the right road, and you will be just fine

Dead end street, no retreat, no u turns please
just turn off the engine, get out and use your feet
Red Light warning, signs of decline
last exit on the road in your mind

In a roundabout way we are all going to the same place
slow down,don't race, take time to embrace life at a comfortable pace
take a moment to study the beauty that life instills
speed kills, beware of oncoming traffic, avoid the steep hills

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

14th November

I miss those days, spent talking of nothing at all
the quiet reminiscence of a lost day, where now I only hear the emptiness of night fall
I miss the knowing glances, the twinkle in your eye
I miss sleeping, without that last day playing on memory screens that multiply

I miss the arguments, the political rants
the discussions that shaped me into the man that stands
tall and proud, that can now find words to call out
I miss you being there, I miss being able to share this turnabout

I miss you singing aloud, though not knowing the words
the world seems so quiet now its just us and the birds
I miss the comfort of you sat in your favourite chair
quietly watching the day pass by without a care, I miss those hours shared

I miss buying you gifts, little treats that I knew would make you smile
especially today, on your birthday, I feel lost; alone on some deserted isle
I miss so much, but I remember even more
and you will live on in the memories I store  

Thanks for reading.

Today (14th November) would have been my dads birthday

This one is for him!

Kyle.

Hero

Could really use a hero, but no one knows I'm crying
I cant express in words this feeling, an internal sighing
like I'm under water, but no one knows I'm drowning

I'd like to scream but my lungs would fill; I'm floundering

Could someone take my hand, its heavy by my side

could you walk with me, with pride even with all the tears cried

would you be able to look me in the eye?

and say it will all be fine, even if its a lie?

Could someone take this lead weight from my chest

I want to breath, I want to live, but don't want the hurt to nest

my eyes are so heavy they just want to close, want to sleep unopposed

without all my bad thoughts exposed

Could really use a hero, but no one knows I'm here

am I to lay in wait, just dwelling on my fear

could use a hand, but my cries come out silent

like I'm on some distant world, or a long forgotten island

Thanks For Reading

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

 

Let Us Remember

Let us remember, lives cut down in their primes
the crimes against humanity, the shame of our times
lets not forget, the blood that wept
like a sea of poppies where the dead slept

let us cry for those whom time wasn't to be an ally
the poor young souls, who never got a chance to fly
their days were numbered, with digits so low
the seconds flew by as those cannons did blow

Millions slaughtered in the names of politicians, dictators and kings
and still to this day the war drum sings
who gave these people the power, to watch from their towers
as the blood grows sour and young men march to their final hours

Lets call for change, no more bombs should rain
no more rounds of machine gun fire should stain
the ground in red, the blood should be spared
its about time the people of this world showed they cared.

We could have a world where our leaders think before acting
where they look for a positive outcome
not a bullet strewn smoky skyline, bomb cratered wasteland
with rivers of red over the fields and sands

Or we could let the leaders fight, put them on the front line
war would be outlawed in double time
Id love to see Trump and Boris sent over the top
into no mans land, how quickly wars would stop
 

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Clouds

Under the darkest clouds, black charcoal nights

brightened only by the lightning strikes

a storm building all around

startled by the thunderous sound

I crash, head dazzled by the flash

the lights that show demons in my path

I cant walk in this downpour of pain

or swim through these rivers again

Through the hurricane of bad dreams, need to see some hope

across these fields of concrete I seek a way to cope

the gutter water rises, as my eyes flood

the tears cried, for life lost and spilt blood

Thanks For Reading

Peace & Love

Kyle.

 

Torn at the seams

If I was to give my heart, I'd have to fix a few parts
stick some glue inbetween the cracks, staple the halves along the scars
sellotape the segmented fragments together
hope that they don't fall apart in bad weather

If I was to give you my soul, I'd have to repair a few little holes
from the days when I was bitter and angry, I let the hate swallow me whole
where I let the stormy waters get in, they wore down the fixtures and fittings within
need to cement a new shell, I'd have to plaster over the old broken skin

If I was to give myself, I would have to replace a few lost memory shelves
places where my mind losses track, remnants of my shattered failed health
I would have to pave a new path, the old one is full of potholes and cracks
that I stumble on, like the words I try to find when I want to speak back

If I was to give my love, I would have to paper over the self doubts
the ones I see in the mirror peering out
I'd have to mend the parts that see only hurt, the fear that builds in the bricks and the beams

I would have to build a new me, one that isn't as torn at the seams

Thanks For Reading.
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Social

Who needs Eastenders?
with all the drama that facebook sends us
awash with stories of sex drugs and fights
airing dirty laundry for a thumbs up and a like

Don't give me Emmerdale
my social media feed is the true holy grail
its a gossip filled war zone, a battlefield playground
where lives are on display for all around

Why watch Coronation Street, its becoming obsolete
when people plead for your attention on this virtual high street
with click bait they set their traps and wait
knowing someone will click through and seal their fate

who needs Neighbours, they could be Home or Away
you'll never see them whilst your only feet away, lapping up the lives that people portray
staring at your PC hypnosis machine, or your phones glaring screen
where drama queens feed on being seen, their lives spent venting their spleen

The stories on the screen the soap opera lives
just checked into hospital, please give me your eyes
give me a like, an emoji to prize
there is nothing to see, was just passing by, but thanks for the concern it gives me my high

Relationship status complicated, that will get the clicks
oh what happened love, he was never gonna stick
on off on again, the cycle spins in full view
how can anyone live a normal life under so much constant review

Thanks For Reading.
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Hug

Some days you just need a hug

a warm embrace, like cocoa from a large mug

a hot chocolate drink on a cold day

a hug is like an amazing getaway

Makes the world feel less distant

when the screaming inside is insistent

its like a warming blanket when outside its cold

so leap into the arms of the one that will hold

Sometimes you just need a cuddle

to feel like you've won first prize in life's great puzzle

its like bathing in a sun drenched river

embrace the warmth no need to shiver

A hug is a gift, a treat so sweet it takes your heart and gives it feet

to sway, to swing, to dance and sing, lets it play its beat

a cuddle is a warm room in a cold expanse

a fireplace burning logs when the flames dance

when the icy chill stings on a cold winters day

a cuddle is the warming water that soothes it away

Thanks For Reading. 

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Halloween 2019

Ghosts goblins, mummies and ghouls
don't scare me as much as those Tory fools
werewolves, and zombies, things that go bump in the night
the government monsters really bring a fright

Trying to lead us to ruin through Brexit and fear
shakes me more than the vampires that leer
terrifies me more than spectres that leap
Boris and his pals make my blood creep

Shadowy creatures and demonic visions
don't bring the shivers like those making decisions
trying to sell off our NHS care
that is something that truly scares

Witches and banshees, evil spirits that stalk
don't make me scream when I hear them talk
not like those who put barriers in place
of homeless people trying to get a nights rest
or those who put bankers before people who need food
whilst they place their funds in some island tomb
those who take from the poor to feed the rich
those creepy crawly creatures really make me itch
 

Thanks for reading,

Happy Halloween.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

Smiles

The smile that you place on my lips
like a kiss, a drink to be taken in small sips
the dreams we shared as kids
those faraway days of bliss

The smile that touches my eyes
like a ray of sunlight, a day of longing sighs
the dreams we shared will never die
those memories, not long goodbyes

The smile that comes from the heart
like a lightning bolt, a spark
those dreams never lost in the dark
those evenings kissing on that lonely park

The smile that holds me tight
like a hug, on a long cold night
those dreams we talked of until light
the fires that they would ignite

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

On edge

Its raining in my heart, my soul is wet through
sky overhead filled with thunder, storm clouding my view
I just want to escape the bad weather in my mind
take a walk into a world of sunshine, where the clouds aren't so unkind

I feel on edge, my senses are peaked
like a man on a ledge ready to leap
I took a long walk, climbed from the deep
I was at rock bottom, I tried to break free

Like a battle in my head, the bullets are crashing
the bomb blast fragments, of my memory smashing
I cant contain the thoughts, they are starting to gnaw
too many lost battles, and this - just the start of the war

I'm filled with doubt and self hate; around my neck a lead weight
not a necklace one can forget, this internal debate
not a chain with a heart; given to show that you care
more like a noose - a dead weight hanging there

The loathing comes in waves, great tidal avalanches
when the mood drops down deep, hurt inside grows new branches
a tree torn to shreds by the waters sheer force
my screams try to come, but my throat has grown hoarse

Thanks For Reading.
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Streets after midnight

An instance of clarity, Looming against the foggy night

under charcoal sky in the intense glare of the moons spotlight

the watchman high in the hills above, demons creeping through dreams of love

he listened to the fears you had, the scares that caused the sweat and dread

he held your hand and wiped away the tears you shed

At one with the dark blanket surrounding

he listened to your heart pounding, cut down the zombies that your brain allowed in

the watchman under diamond speckled skyline, diffused the bombs and the landmines

that cluttered your mind, the monstrous howls dulled in their prime

he blended into the shadows, the creepy mists that clung to your skin

he couldn't let the monsters win

He was there on those streets after midnight, quiet times when the frights loomed out of sight

the watchman of the night, worked with all of his might to rid the place of creatures that cause fright

he walked in the cold damp air, the chill wind screams that rip hearts at the seams

fought the fears that lived there, he wanted a world of happy dreams

And in those midnight blues, when the world is full of things that scare

you will see him in the corner of your eye, walking there, ready and waiting to show he cares

Thanks For Reading,
Peace & Love.
Kyle.

Magic Dust

Drowning on this dry land

as far from the oceans as I can stand

as distant from waters as I may roam

these lungs filling with dust and stone

I just want to fly; free

a speck of dust, a fragment of a different galaxy

I want to bathe in natures beauty, dance like a butterfly or a bee

I want to be seen, Loved for just being me

Growing stale in this stagnant air

like a grey polluted swamp mist we are forced to share

I want to fill these lungs with magic dust from above

want to taste the stars ingest the love

Tethered to this unsteady ground

like a tree planted on a fault line; earthquake inbound

the shakes could start at any time

I just want to be happy living life before the bells chime

I want to be desired for the person inside

not a liar or fake, or snake on the sly

don't try to deceive, or strive to make more

I just desire a place on your shore

Why do I write so much of love in my words?

because I breathe, I bleed. I see colours in the songs of birds

I believe in more than money, power and greed, I feel every heartbeat

these things make me complete

Thanks for reading,

Peace & love.

Kyle.

Maggots

Maggots feast on diseased flesh left to shed
another set of stories told by the beast in my head
deceased skin, the marks of sins perceived, I fled the first waves
as the bullets tore the air, a close shave
word missiles flew
I bled bright red for you

Nothing said could change the tone
set in stone, tablets on which the past was written from a skull lined throne
this story my own, history on loan
as your verbal knives tore my skin until they hit bone
how can one atone? when they are thrown to the wolves, for yesterdays woes
I fell on my sword, the blood wept, crimson river flows

My tale torn from a book, a page dripping with rage and love
of hate and hurt, landscapes of self worth deserted, as the flames leapt from above
the bombs that tore my heart into scraps, 

unspoken words that said more with just a disappointed look

I fell into all the traps, I gave you all I ever had, you only ever took

like a vampire, you tore at my neck the blood flowed, my life you did suck

in a swamp of nasty creatures and leeches I felt stuck

Your weapons, were lies, behind the eyes your smile that I grew to despise under dull moonlight

the teeth that only wanted to bite, the fists that only wanted to fight

you shape shifted into my life, a parasite, a diseased monster of the night

until I took a walk into a world of happiness, people that shattered the illusion of your fright

and I saw that you were just as afraid of the light as I was of the darkest sights

not a person to fear, a person with a story still to write

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

 

Cardboard City Spoken Word Version 2

Cardboard City was the first recording Id done of one of my poems, but It was only ever supposed to be a proof of concept, and I was never happy with the way it turned out, so here is version 2
hopefully much improved, and I hope you enjoy it.
I still dont like hearing my own voice, but I believe im starting to get better at this!

Peace And Love.
Kyle

Recurring Dream

I sleep in a wave of confusion, as the images make their intrusion
the same recurring dream washes over me like an ocean of illusion
it takes me away to an island paradise
where you are sitting in wait with starry eyes
In an hypnotic trance, my mind asleep in the hot sands
whilst you sit there holding my heart in your hands

I dream; the same one every time
our lives awake, our days lived in this place sublime
as the lies snake away and the peace makes our hearts sway
take the wonderland pathway paved with golden hopes, dancing orange sun at play
I speak but the words don't need to be aired, the feelings live in the air
the atmosphere filled with the love I share

I float through these fantasy skies
where the dream days turn to nights
and I can see your face reflect in the moonlit rivers
under the satellites and meteor showers of a sky that delivers
a message told in cosmic whispers, hushed tones that cause shivers
In dreams I am awake, unafraid everything I need to be
in dreams I believe in a love that includes me

In these hallucinations of my invention
I hear you knocking at my door, there is no apprehension
I hear your voice, like a songbird singing 

I feel my heart springing
smiling wide, we can fly the shooting star ride
take in the dream world fantasy, side by side

we can watch over the rainbow river
watch as the waters of love ripple

I wake, with a smile that soon dulls to a sigh
the dream nothing but a lie
I wait for the visions to reappear
the moments where i see you there, a queen under the moons silver sphere
an angel on a beach, a flower on a stream
I close my eyes, and I start to dream

Thanks For Reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle.