Pushed Away

Pushed you away, I didn't want a friend

just another bottle painted with my name

saw a way to escape the pain, a path towards an end

I never wanted, nor did I crave, attention, was a way to the grave

Seen through a pint glass, a way to escape the past

rose tinted glasses were painted black, hate stuck fast

shook me to my core, broke all I stood for

mirror reflected back to the world before

As the bottle smashed against the floor

a promise sworn, broken as my heart tore

pushed so hard that no one could love the man I wore

the lost boy's disguise against his world at war

As the liquor spilled from my veins in a fit of rage

I bled, the remnants of the world I dreaded, I couldn't find the page

the map to show the way lied, I couldn't find the path

a boy in a forest no way through, I spewed my wrath

The man pulled a pint, a glass to erase the stains of my mind

self medicated to blot out the strained world, a place with no street sign

alone, I wanted to be, pushed you away, never wanted to be there you see

couldn't show who I'd become, reflections in my drink, show a man that wasn't me

Another bottle drops as the battle sounds crash

my two minds want to hit out, the hate I feel in a flash

The lost boy who couldn't find his place

the broken bruised man who took his space

Never wanted to drip so much poison, or cause such tension

the demons grip never lessened, as the voices screamed for attention

I needed to find my fight, it was inside all along

in this body that I once disowned 

Pushed away, to betray the portrait I'd painted myself

a picture of good, it wasn't worth the space on your shelf 

I'd lost the person I once was, dropped along the way

had to retrace my steps to find him,  long after the demons had gone away

Thanks for reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.