I don't want immortality,
to see everybody I know
fall apart before me.
It's a curse that I was granted.
All I have to do
is avoid holy relics, stakes
sunlight, blessed water, garlic flakes,
getting buried alive amongst the worms
with not even enough room to turn.
It's a wonder I have survived this long.
Hundreds of years have gone,
since that cloaked figure pierced my neck.
If I had just said no
when he wanted inviting in.
I would have just grown old in this skin.
But now it's all
up at the crack of night,
flap about in the form of a bat
looking for a bite.
Creeping in shadows,
seeking my lunch,
a victim on which to munch.
I don't even like the taste of blood,
like copper coins,
warm, It is really not so good.
How I would kill for some French cuisine,
but garlic could be the death of me.
My lair,
a council flat in disrepair.
I'd call customer services
but the opening hours are a real hassle.
We don't all get allocated castles.
I am not a count or anything
though I do wear a cloak.
People think I'm eccentric
They shout abuse from their porches.
I will take it, I'd rather look like a dick
than get chased with
pitchforks and torches.
My heroes are long gone,
the new breed are a bit too sparkly for me.
Where is Dracula or Orlok
hell, I'd take David from lost boys at a shot.
Now it's all glitter and shinies,
My chemical romance wannabees.
My heroes have deserted me,
the life of a vampire is lonely.
Yeah, I have my faithful friend, Tony.
He also eats flies like that Renfield chap,
but it’s hard to make friends
when the scent of blood makes you snap.
Thanks for reading
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