11:33 Where the darkness meets the light

 

The cold wind blows through,

wrapping me in its icy blanket

as I breathe condensation

to the condescending air.

11:32

Not even midnight.

Not even late

But you have soured

the taste with your

bitter tirade.

 

You spiked every drink with spite,

soured my food

then forced fed another bite.

You over-seasoned my mind with doubt,

clouding my skies with questions,

like why am I here? Why does nobody care?

Would anyone notice if I vanished into nothing?

Making me think I don’t belong in the same air,

then later telling me that I was wrong,

you just wanted me to feel strong

by filling me with fear.

11:32

and I’m in the middle of nowhere.

No hope to cling to, just an empty sky,

yet I’m grasping for the air.

 

And I feel the cold against my eyes

as the tears trickle down from the corners.

In my blurred corneas all I see

is the city light,

the traffic driving so fast below me.

but it’s all blurred into a mind flare

and I could jump. I could let go

and take that step into the air.

11:32 and I’m clinging on to the only thoughts

that I have ever known to be true.

That my heart is love,

maybe you can’t see that

through you dirt crusted view.

 

And as I’m wobbling precariously

I wonder what the world would say

about me, what would be written the next day?

11:32 the questions buffer through,

what if they knew the truth about you?

How you get so scared, how you feel so blue,

how so alone it feels even in a crowded room.

How the only comfort is the words you use.

And how few have actually seen the real you.

 

But then I see that star.

The one that shines every night.

The one that lightens the load on my mind.

And for a second. A smile. Then two seconds.

Then a minute.

And I’m being held in this moment.

Tightly.

Warmly.

Loved.

And if it isn’t real

I don’t really care,

For right now

it is stopping me falling.

For I’m not alone.

And those voices I hear so loudly

are only bad memories played internally.

11:33 and I walk away

and I let the nighttime guide me

for there are always better things

that sit where the darkness meets the light.