Building layers

So lonely, these four walls, a retreat
too many beatings, hurt feelings, been mistreated
escaped by running, shutting down and shunning
the outside, a place of hate its dangers stunning

Alone, the gloom in this dark room
to much time spent in my head, entombed
the words wont come, I cant find them
or let them out, I need to shout

This isolation, unhealthy not good for me
cant find a way to release this nervous energy
so I grow a thick skin, to contain it in
a shell to hide within

In a group I am the stranger watching on
outside just looking in
cant find a way to fit, my voice sticks
you may judge, ridicule, I feel small, fear grips

No one sees me, the true being beneath
the layers still need peeling, to see me complete
the walls keep them hidden, I'm breathing
but I need releasing

So if I let you in, then you are a special case
not many I dare embrace
my heart is open for you
if yours is open too

If you break through the walls
I will give my all
trust should be treasured
it sees us through dark weather

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.