Limbo

Can't find the sleep, its hiding in the dark
can't stay awake, my eyes lost their spark
stuck in the inbetween, a limbo of daydreams
where my mind floats, flutters unseen

Too tired it seems, sleep avoids me
it creeps away into the night, to be free
lay my head to find some release
but the brain's voices wont give me peace

Sleep lost in the dim light
as my eyes put up a fight
though I seek the dreams
body is tearing at the seams

This fatigue, feels deflating
when you spend your whole night just waiting
for the freedom from life's test
where the body and mind get some rest

Thanks for reading,

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

4:00 am

Waiting so long, endless it seems, sleep eludes me

Feeling numb, my brain has gone wrong, where is the release

just passing lonely hours watching shadows prance

as the sounds of the night lead my mind on a long dance

Tried counting sheep, they departed as my thoughts started

flowing like reflective word rivers, into places uncharted

all comes flooding, the banks have broken, I'm drowning

the crushing wall of words, memories, crashes down on me

Swept by on a tide of ideas, failings, feelings and fears

the current so fast, dragging me down, the bed so near

these depths so murky cant get a glimpse of light

just another long, lonely, dark night

Is that the sun, just off in the distance

or the moon mocking my existence

don't know what is real or imagined, cant take much more

my eyes, attuned to the dark, the clock says four

Thanks for reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.

 

Tired

Tired, low, lonely and cold, this body feels so abused

pushed to its limits, done too much, its no use

not afraid of deaths cold grip

afraid of a life not lived, let slip

Feel the clouds descend, crowding my brain, when will this end?

the foggy grey blankets me in a wash of rain, Am I condemned?

it flows down like my addictions used to

today I just have to fight my way through

Loneliness, my closest friend, came around again

shared a drink in silence, always the same

need to get free, these four walls entrancing me

escape the feelings within, unworthy, unheard, not to be

Cant seem to think straight

cant evade, this nagging doubt and self hate

but I know it cant last, it will end when the time is right

when I walk out into the brisk cool night

Thanks for reading,

Kyle.

Truth

I speak only of truth, loves only real friend
in this world, it cant live without
never should be in doubt
with honest words, the only way to have the right blend

I tell the whole story, to open up is the only way
cant let my flaws get me down, or bring others to ground
so I fight these battles with a new passion found
only through this can I share my heart and beat the grey

Shout my words loud and proud, let them flow through me
from within a roar, meant to be, a sound to show my steel
to see the beauty inside, to stay true when nothing feels real
the flight is bleak, our voices crack ands squeak, still we are free

The song I sing often changes tone, hits a different key
its a part of me, my anxiety, a tension that claims a piece
the battle is real, the war never won, but we come to some peace
the truth I fight for,  a world I want to see

Never believed had much to give, thought my time was claimed
truths opened my eyes to a world outside, never dreamt id grow
thought id end alone, never beating the low
now I dine on the times shared, with a life regained

My truth,  had given up, stopped trying
a life of pain was all I believed in
without this pouring rain I would have been gone too soon
the hurt gave me a reason to bloom

Honest words are often the hardest to find, use them kindly
try to make a happy world for us all, a smile is a start
share your love,  passions your heart and art
give your truths if you can sing brightly

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Screen romance

The story over long before the credits roll

the curtain was halfway down before we stood a chance

never got to see the budding romance

before the final act has even started to unfold

Our tale, a brief interlude from a bigger movie

could never flourish, would never grow

the script left unfinished just never flowed

only ever saw the beast, never got to see the beauty

No beginning or middle, all led to it ending

story held no structure, no one at the controls

the plot was in pieces, so full of holes

the direction was wrong from day one, needed amending

No one knew the lines, improvised all their scenes

the storyboards were flawed, the cast was too young

they didn't connect or share any bond

This tale was never meant for the screens

Was this comedy or tragedy?

seemed more like an horror story

a straight to TV release, a production so flawed

the faults could never be ignored

Even the worst movies have moments where the true love does shine

the screen kiss was real, the stars had their time

the story was bad, 2 stars at best, would never hit primetime

but it had lessons to teach, its heart was just fine

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.

Night

Tears flood when the sun passes the horizon
night where my heart and soul collide
a fountain of pain, in the inky darkness, rising
feed my creative mind, pain and joy combine

When stars ignite the dark blank sky
like thoughts in my mind, a battleground
a collision course every night, of dark against light, a stuttered cry
hours where, defences worn bare, I struggle, drowned

blackness of night, like a mirror of my mind, reflecting back, an insight
to show all my stormy seas, waves of emotion
hiding away throughout the day, they stand out like neon at night
feelings of loss, haunting my thoughts, a vast ocean

Sun rise, way off in the distance, my defensive shell rises alongside
night where I let my thoughts flow free
now hidden deep inside
until the sun goes down, moonlight kisses my eyes, and  I can be me

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.

This place

Thought I had escaped this place

the smell burns my senses, feel displaced

unhealthy taste in the air,

in this place of care

Had long put to bed this feeling of dread

a feeling inside, the prime of my life, wasted, dead

never asked for help, id suffered alone

now here in this bed wish I wasn't on my own

In my mind the cobwebs cover all surfaces, everything

the walls, halls, corridors, the skin, a tickling feeling within

my world, dirty, dank and grey

smells of death and decay

Can taste the air stale and thick

makes the stomach sick

in this deepest hell the shattered shell

sits awaiting the tolling of the bell

Stars shine brightest on the darkest nights

where flights of fancy take us towards the lights

we leave behind the sights

as we begin to fight for our lives

The wonderful joy of overcoming the fall

of battling on in spite of it all

we take our punches, the kicks to the guts

but never do we give up

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Building layers

So lonely, these four walls, a retreat
too many beatings, hurt feelings, been mistreated
escaped by running, shutting down and shunning
the outside, a place of hate its dangers stunning

Alone, the gloom in this dark room
to much time spent in my head, entombed
the words wont come, I cant find them
or let them out, I need to shout

This isolation, unhealthy not good for me
cant find a way to release this nervous energy
so I grow a thick skin, to contain it in
a shell to hide within

In a group I am the stranger watching on
outside just looking in
cant find a way to fit, my voice sticks
you may judge, ridicule, I feel small, fear grips

No one sees me, the true being beneath
the layers still need peeling, to see me complete
the walls keep them hidden, I'm breathing
but I need releasing

So if I let you in, then you are a special case
not many I dare embrace
my heart is open for you
if yours is open too

If you break through the walls
I will give my all
trust should be treasured
it sees us through dark weather

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Snowdrift

Icy snow drifts from on high
setting a blanket, cold bright white
A chill wind bites the skin
bringing tears so sharp they sting

An old man, alone and frightened
can only pray the sun does brighten
no heat to help him clear
no love to save him, through this bitter cold, so severe

A strong breeze, temperature drops many degrees
catches the breath, pain in the chest, this deep freeze
Trudge onwards towards warmth, many cant, the flight desperate
their hearts cannot take this, helpless

Shivering masses huddle together
cuddle up against the weather
a community of souls
consumed by the cutting cold

The night, lit up by the snow cover
gives the air a magical colour
but underneath the delights the gorgeous sights
is a deathly cold that bites

Shattered hearts crack into shards
the cold takes hold and disregards
brings pain to all it touches, each snowflake a curse
making so many lives worse

Cant afford to warm their homes
cant seem to warm their bones
just sit in hope
to them this weather is no joke

As I fear the air grows clear
another ice tear falls near
takes hold of so many lives
makes them dread their plights

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.

nightlife

When the day becomes night
streets illuminate with incandescent light
the city gets a second round
daytime crowd long gone to ground

A flood of feet take to the streets
ready to eat drink and share in the beats
new life for these cold pathways
as the lovers find their own ways

Bars and food, this is what the nights bring
shops long closed tills ceased to ring
new world, a neon glow everywhere you go
the fresh faced barmaid sighs, is this all life bestows

These alleyways, varied life signs, the night their domain
trying to find others to fill the voids to let the heart rain
the cleaner watches from the office above
just wishing she could share the love

As the drinks flow, voices slur, the night blurred
a fight hateful passions ignite, anger stirred
the grey haired police man wishes he was on a day shift
too many quarrels, need to heal rifts

Closing time, the place begins to sleep
as the street cleaners sweep
another night on the town
so many stories abound

Thanks for reading,
Kyle.

Death beckons

Death stood, his pale glow holding me so, he said to me beckoning
I had reached my day of reckoning
pushed my luck too far, played all the wrong cards
waited for judgement, to answer my plea, to sort through my life's shards

Grim reaper in front tall and gaunt, looked like me
a mirror image it seemed, my death in my hands, my life a choice to be
can I be a good man, worth a chance
this question needed answers first, then I could advance

Angel of death suspends my ending
takes me on a voyage, mind bending
shows me a life fresh and new, a glimpse of hope
gives a smile, pushes me on an upwards slope

on my shoulder his bony hand guides me
shows me who is inside, if I just get free, get clean
a heart that wants to heal and save
a soul that wants to love and be brave

Could I fight my curse, beat my demons down
could I find my worth, beat a new rhythm now
Took a trip to find myself, to regain health to see who remains
deaths shadow still too close but he refrains

He says I have a path to take
as he vanishes with a firm handshake
my doctor stands he gives me a life at last
he says I can be free to escape the past

Thanks for reading,
Kyle

Why would she?

Could never believe, why would she want him?
had no money or anything to give, his looks were not much, didn't keep trim
but she loved him from afar,
if only he could see, had so much to offer,

Heart the size of a skyscraper, towering above
filled to the brim with love.
so much to share,
she could see it there

Doubted his worth, nothing good in his world, no romance
alone, flitted room to room, never giving hope a chance
never letting in, keeping his thoughts within
never to share or tell her he cares, as if a mortal sin,

To show we are there, our love is here,
we have much, so come and share this touch,
to let you in,
instead we accept fear, let hurt win

Why make it so tough, love, a curse for the shy,
all you want, to make someone happy, to give all you have, not a bad guy
as we ask ourselves why
does life make it so hard to let our feelings show, our voices grow, let our hearts glow

thanks for reading,

kyle

secret

A secret, I was never happy, just dulled,trapped in, deflated,

i give my words to build, to find myself, to repair my being, to kick the hatred,

Never liked "me" the person I could see, wasnt the person in my head, a clone with a different mind,

mirrors surround, reflecting back a face of the past, the one inside, the one im trying to find.

I let myself go, didnt care, was deep in the darkness, completely engulfed,

shadows surround, a part had died i thought,

though it goes it was just sleeping, dormant,

biding its time to show, to re-emerge and help me to grow.

I could never share my fear, or despair, it showed me weak, a wreck, a complete mess,

no connection to help, no guide in the dark, no hand to hold,  to express,

Let the drink control, it took hold, wouldnt let go, dragging me down below,

created a person i didnt know, didnt recognise, one  i dispised, cross the streets to avoid this fellow.

This could have beat me, i was in retreat, i lay my anger at everyones feet, on their floors,

I could be mean, a bad face in the streets, i ignored my flaws,

The threat of death gave me a door, a way through a path all new,

a glimps at some meaning, a new briefing, a true begining.

I remembered the me i liked, found the parts i dispised, threw them out,

Slowly cutting away the bad, to replace with good, a new mood, a rejuvination,

so now i build each day, write to let my thoughts shine, to elucidate, and beat my frustration,

my race has begun, a fun run to go on, hope its a long one.

Thanks for reading.