I sit under spotlight in this prison cell of the mind
Hope bounds in with despair,
head down, slouching behind.
They pull up chairs on either side of me.
Hope chimes in 'maybe she will see me'
Despair sinks her fingers into her skin
'What if she SEES me?! I’m not that special,
not much at all, I’m a blot of ink on a page
A full stop with no sentence to follow'
Fear shakes in the corner,
I didn't even know they were there,
until under her breath I heard her say
'Just stay here, don’t let your thoughts touch the air,
don’t let her know that she
makes you smile from ear to ear,
it will only hurt more my dear'
I slowly speak
'But I’ve walked miles on these feet.
Pain means that my heart still beats,
that I still feel, that hope is real,
that love is still somewhere inside this shell'
I hear my own voice echoing
'I think I've been nursing a broken heart for so long.
Scared that its wings would never truly beat in sync
when the only thing it truly needed
was to be released and allowed to fly free again.'
'Do you really believe that?'
Doubt says from somewhere in the dark
'You are delusional you are not worth a shot,
you've fallen so much, you've failed, you’re all washed up,
a nothing that nobody even knew enough to forget'
'It will end in pain' fear whimpers again,
'I can’t stand to feel that hurt grabbing my heart again'
'Stop. Let him follow his heart'
love shouts out from the stars
that circle the spotlight.
My words whisper then roar
'yeah, I’ve been hurt before.
Hell, I’ve knocked on deaths door so many times
that my knuckles are raw,
but I’m still standing tall.
I’ve let fear hold me down, hidden away from the light,
but then I broke free and now I stand tall and I shout.
It isn’t too late; I’m not a waste I can be who I want
in this world I create so I won’t let your words fill me with self-hate
leaving me alone just passing the days'
Fear and doubt fade into the green grass
that coats the ground
'Wait, wasn’t I in a cell?
When did I escape to this space
in a forest glade?
Where the wind breathes
its wordless poetry into my aching lungs
and gives me a hug from deep within.
'You've always been here'
Replies the spotlight moon,
adding,
'You know she thinks about you too,
I hear her whispers, and if you quietened
the noise in your head, you would hear her too'
Thanks for reading
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Peace, Love & Poetry
Kyle
