once there was joy, warmth, love and noise,
now only silence, so still, like a cemetery, a grave,
a part of me died that night, left alone, all I loved gone, tears flowed in waves.
No warning, no signs, arrive home, find it empty of love, gone, no one, stings like a knife,
felt my heart break, cracked as it gave way, drained inside, no fight, no life,
its beat a memory, distant, past, as I searched for a clue,
floated room to room, like a ghost, to understand you.
Tears, unstoppable, uncontrollable, a dam burst released the hurt,
this night recurs constantly, in dreams, nightmares, tries to make me fall apart,
I see you there smiling and laughing every time I close my eyes,
this home where no love lives, just me, my soul splits, and I cry.
Too scared to connect, to get close, to let go, to be hurt,
built walls, defences against all, left myself in that hole to wait, inert,
sat in darkness, embrace its calmness, it comforts, keeps me from that night,
inside I know at heart, need to get out and fight.
Thanks for reading. this is another very personal piece, it isn't an easy part of my life to look back on, but sometimes writing is good therapy!
Kyle
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