Webs

Loneliness, wet like the tears I weep

started as a drip, weak and slow

as the days passed

the pressure started to grow

now it's like a tap turned full flow

I've been lonely for so long

It circled me, enticed me into its web

like a sailor hearing a sirens song

or a spider catching a fly

pulling me in; it's prey.

now I pray for life

I've been alone, it is a normal state

so, why does this feel like the end of days

just lying in wait for my judgement date

a black depression forming around my head

I feel like I'm deep in a pit no way to leave

this web the spiders have weaved

my bed, a grave

a coffin with most of the nails ready and waiting

just need to lay within 

close the lid on this feeling

Something feels wrong

I've been down for so long

I've been alone and not longed

for escape, not needed to break these chains

but now, I fear I'm losing my mind

the feeling drains

my will to fight; lays down on the ground

as the webs trap me; hold me down

I'm just an empty bag of bones

heart stopped beating a long while ago

I've felt the ache of a nervous break

I've been down, so far down

I've been close to the end

used up the hope in my account

now I feel I'm out for the count

the towel has been thrown in

and I'm out of the game

no more burning flame

I'm sick of the feeling of nothing at all

where once sat anger, love, passion, pain and joy

now sits just an empty air, with a dead eyed stare

a lost boy

too far from home

Too far from anywhere at all

just empty plains as far as the eye can see

and no plan to follow, just a need to flee

Barely moved in over a week, my body is weak

autopilot in control

watching as the days fly off the calendar

like thoughts floating into a black hole

I lost the will to speak

I can’t call, I can’t talk

my voice lost, I've forgotten how to walk

I can’t find hope, it’s getting too dark

someone save me a shooting star

however small the spark

At my lowest ebb

A tangled spiders web of thoughts Infest my head

I lay in bed

It's a safe space in this world of the walking dead

I dread the days and fear the night

sweating threads of burning insight

I close my eyes too many bad days

too long this recycling midnight

far from alright

I'm a mess and I need to regain my will to fight

I know it will improve

something good always comes when you least expect

It can be the smallest of things

a smile from a stranger

A kiss in the wind

a thoughtful message sent when at your lowest

when the world is like a dense forest

and the darkness is growing

a message of hope can be the light that keeps the pathway showing

the mood will lift

the doom clouding the view will drift

webs will depart, threads won’t always bind

fire will burn through the brambles in my mind

but the loneliness will remain

this empty heart

can it beat again?

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.