Let go of a feeling

Do I just let go of a feeling?

Inbetween fleeting moments of wonder

I fear so much, this awful being

She cuts me apart with just a word

Disconnects my life support

When she says I'm never going to be enough?

I should walk away

Take the highway

But it's so much easier to stay

And I love her in my own strange little way

How can you turn off a thought?

It's not like a light switch that you can flick

a button to click

Or a gear you can turn to reverse

It's a part of your life, even if it makes it feel worse

I know I should pull the plug

But it's like a drug

One drag and your hooked

And I injected the whole lot into my blood

How can you close that door in your head?

wedged open to watch the tears fall like weights of lead

That she sits behind

You can’t evict a person from the space in your mind

You can’t just close your eyes, soaked and tear lined

She lurks inside

I know I should cut my losses

But I know what the cost is

when the shakes get too much

she is always first in touch

Do you try to seek escape, leap into a river deep?

Or a disturbed distorted sleep

Let the knives cut you, those piercing eyes

The vicious lies, the insistent put down lines

Do you fall for drugs or drink, to push you to the brink?

Oblivion is such a sweet retreat

I know I should open my eyes

But tears cried are like threads sewing them tight

Blinded by the briefest hint of light

So, used to the dark of another lonely night

Comatose hope

lost in shrub land

I took too high a dose

Can feel the thoughts clawing

Skin crawling

My brain itches

Just a heart contained within a shell of nervous twitches

I know I should clear my mind

But I lost the pathway. It's too dark to find

And the trees are rooting in my head

need to find a clearing in this forest of dread

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.