Happy in darkness?

 

I wonder sometimes

if I can ever truly

be happy

with this darkness

that descends so readily,

hungry to devour me.

I wonder aloud in my own pitiful duality,

how could I ever be seen as anything

when I let this darkness cloud my way.

 

I go through days with a smile,

but is it real?

Is this how happiness feels?

Or just a brief flittering of sunlight

whilst the clouds have parted

for a break in their stormy ordeal?

I know I ache sometimes.

I know I ache some days

when I look outside

and think

I don’t deserve those sun rays.

 

I wonder is the darkness within me?

Or is it more like a shadow at my feet?

Clinging on for dear life

as I try to run clear of it.

I sit so often with nothing in mind,

just a blank piece of paper

with only one word underlined.

Happy?

 

But then I feel

that lifting lilting shift of a moment,

where for a brief second

light beckons me,

it calls to me to walk clear

leave the darkness in the past,

sever that string of fear.

And I do.

I walk away from the gloom.

For that moment the smile feels...

Real. It feels true.

 

I wonder if maybe

I’ve been able to break free

from the darkness much more easily,

ever since I saw the way it sat so pitifully,

needing me, feeding on me, bleeding me.

That like a shadow needs light to survive,

am I the one shining,

making the darkness

that once felt so bleak

now seem so weak?

 

 

Thanks for reading
Follow this link for more.
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My newly released book, 'Paper Brick'

is now available along with 

all of my other books, 

at Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Paper-brick-Kyle-Coare/dp/B0F9LCD487/

 

Please buy a copy if you can

it would really help me
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Peace, Love & Poetry
Kyle