Died

I should have died

my lifeline shortened

as the machines bleeped their eerie rhythm

the peaks and troughs became a virtual flat line

on life support and I'd paid my ticket price

on a one-way train ride to the other side

I should have died

when the blood drained from my inside

when I saw red on my hands

when I felt death standing beside

with bony hands turning the hourglass

filled with fine shiny sands

I should have died

I was above, looking in

outside, flying, circling, soaring and gliding

Thirty-three and I was close to the end

a sad descent, an ill-fitting bookend

on my self-destruction mechanism, I hit activate

heading towards a dead end, and my foot was still firmly on accelerate

I should be dead, but then the grim reaper stopped

And said

hello, my friend, we will meet again

but not today, you have a message to send

So, I woke from a lifelong nightmare

could just about make out a difference to the air

I could see

not hate swirling me

but a mist clearing slowly

I should have died

but then something got on the tracks and stopped the ride

my hope, so far denied, was starting to grow inside

someone found me on that beach at high tide, before the waters swept me away

and I could feel again

new sparks lit up my brain

I could face up to my demons and start to feel better

my ghosts pushed me further than they could have hoped to send

but I smiled in defiance at the taunts that they aimed

no longer treading water, I was swimming proudly

instead of dreading their worst, I was shouting loudly

I should be dead. I bled too much.

the sounds still echo in my head, I pushed my luck

but the universe had other plans for me

not sure what they are, but I'll explore the story

because I can feel again, so much more than previously

where my heart just beat before, now it roars internally

and I don't want to go back to being a robotic state

I'd rather taste my tears when hurt,

if it means I enjoy love more when it comes my way

Thanks For Reading.

Peace & Love.

Kyle.