Tired

Tired, low, lonely and cold, this body feels so abused

pushed to its limits, done too much, its no use

not afraid of deaths cold grip

afraid of a life not lived, let slip

Feel the clouds descend, crowding my brain, when will this end?

the foggy grey blankets me in a wash of rain, Am I condemned?

it flows down like my addictions used to

today I just have to fight my way through

Loneliness, my closest friend, came around again

shared a drink in silence, always the same

need to get free, these four walls entrancing me

escape the feelings within, unworthy, unheard, not to be

Cant seem to think straight

cant evade, this nagging doubt and self hate

but I know it cant last, it will end when the time is right

when I walk out into the brisk cool night

Thanks for reading,

Kyle.

marathon

The starter's pistol fires loud
sound startles my mind, instinct takes hold
my feet start to run, my stride is bold
these first baby steps make me feel proud

In my lane, I'm behind the crowd
this race isn't a sprint, a marathon to run
a way forward, a race that has barely begun
hold my pace, ignoring the dark storm clouds

Feel my muscles pull tight, been running all night
a stitch in my side, my chest on fire
pound on some more, cant retire
need to keep going need to fight

Now I'm running as fast as I can, keeps out the thoughts in my mind
am I running away? why? am I scared?
is this my race to win? do I need to stay in this lane?
so I persevere, the thoughts begin to clear, the fear left behind

In the past the darkness would have stopped this
now its time to run headfirst into it
overtake the pains, the worries,the tears
take first place in this race against fear

Thanks for reading,

Kyle.

Forest of hate

Deep in the heart of the forest of hate, I wake

the trees feel like they are closing in, claustrophobia choking, feel off beat

a winding pathway through, scattered with twigs to scratch my feet

as the trees get nearer can feel them in my face, fill me with heartache

Ground wet with the sludge of a million rainfalls

sodden, it holds me in place, the vines and branches grip my arms

they pierce my skin, cut deep within, slashing, trying to cause harm

the ground so wet, from a billion tear falls

The screeching sounds cut through the air, a wail, shrill, I'm scared

they attack my head, from all sides, damage my senses

cant think straight, left defenceless

the undergrowth climbs around me, left gagged and impaired

All around the trees sway, hovering over me, blocking out the light

crowding me out, pushing me down, into the dirt, in the root filled ground

words wont come out, cant scream out, can barely make a sound

so many surround, cant get out, but cannot fight

This forest so full of menace, should I just embrace?

this jungle of people, all rooted in place

surrounding, their gazes penetrating

they hold me down our limbs entangling

The wooded pathway, as scary as any cemetery

its hold over me so strong, need to return

to beat this fear, this cold dried tear, need to be reborn

and escape my self imposed solitary

Thanks for reading,

Kyle.

Artwork  ©Dianne Coare

Depression

This illness never judges, pays no heed to your bank account
rich or poor, prince or pauper, you are in its sights 

hunts you down, always ready to fire, your goods don't count
you may be next in line to feel its sting, its frights

Male, Female, any colour under the sun, gives no thought to any of these
life of the party, often the first to crawl, the smile a lie to hide the fall
race, sex, beliefs, wealth, none offers a reprieve
when depression strikes, its a free for all

Comedian, joker, clown, often a way to hide, the pain built up deep inside
poets, singers, actors, tell stories to release, to find their peace
all walks of life, none immune, a twist of the brain, a quirk of mind
inside the pressure increases

The victims may seem to be flying high, the stand out star
inside the dark mist rises, blankness crashing, the mind agonising
hide so much from view, you never see a persons scars 

blanket of darkness falls, a nighttime dropped without warning, dehumanising

Staring into space, could be looking at you, lost in the minds grip
like a child, lost, scared, its cold in this world
stuck in a maze, no breadcrumb trail, no path to follow, a brain slip
every pathway a dull lifeless dead grey, like a hospital corridor underworld

Don't live in hell, deep within yourself
the shell you create to comfort against hate
nothing but a cell, created to keep you down, find ourselves
with help and support can beat this lead weight

This illness doesn't judge, it picks at random
you are not a targeted victim, just a name on a page
don't let it push you down, or hold you to ransom
find yourself, find your heart, break out of the cage

To the lucky souls, whose lives are untouched by these thoughts
please be kind, your words save lives, you can help change minds
give your hand, don't push or laugh, help them untie the knots
listen with love, never judge, help to unlock the binds

Thanks for reading,
Kyle.
Depression is a terrible illness if you feel it clouding you
or you see it taking over someone you know
then please seek advice, dont just live with it, get help.

London

The juxtaposition of old and new

where glass and steel stand high and tall

next to cobbled lanes, alleyways, old abandoned market stalls

palaces, towers, bridges, so much to view

The history, the many mysteries, this city

so big, so full, it can swallow you whole

as you stroll down its lanes, its a maze like patrol

can feel dark and dirty, downright gritty, it can also be so pretty

Walk in the footsteps of gangsters, killers, criminals and thieves

alongside royalty, kings and queens, authors, artists, musicians and poets

take the path of the rippers of the past, tour through their minds, at their lowest

their shadows remain in the darkness of night, under the moonlight, the city breathes

pass through a way, where back in the day, a flame, an ember, a spark

ignited the city burned down its heart, caused a lot of misery

a monument remains to mark the place, just a flicker of history

next to a skyscraper that glints in the lights, a beacon, a landmark

The homes of celebrities from the past, the old familiar names

the street signs, the names so ingrained in our minds

political figures and people of lore, history books tell us of their times

this city so full, of life and soul, so enjoyable to walk its old lanes

A drink to the past, a watering hole with a story

The Blind Beggar, The Ten Bells, these told of mystery

others where music bleeds and artistry was freed

where poets and writers, great thinkers let thoughts breed

This city so dark, harsh and scary

yet kind warm and full of heart

the memories I take away with me, will forever be a part

to look at when times are cold, it is truly legendary

Thanks for reading,

Kyle.

Truth

I speak only of truth, loves only real friend
in this world, it cant live without
never should be in doubt
with honest words, the only way to have the right blend

I tell the whole story, to open up is the only way
cant let my flaws get me down, or bring others to ground
so I fight these battles with a new passion found
only through this can I share my heart and beat the grey

Shout my words loud and proud, let them flow through me
from within a roar, meant to be, a sound to show my steel
to see the beauty inside, to stay true when nothing feels real
the flight is bleak, our voices crack ands squeak, still we are free

The song I sing often changes tone, hits a different key
its a part of me, my anxiety, a tension that claims a piece
the battle is real, the war never won, but we come to some peace
the truth I fight for,  a world I want to see

Never believed had much to give, thought my time was claimed
truths opened my eyes to a world outside, never dreamt id grow
thought id end alone, never beating the low
now I dine on the times shared, with a life regained

My truth,  had given up, stopped trying
a life of pain was all I believed in
without this pouring rain I would have been gone too soon
the hurt gave me a reason to bloom

Honest words are often the hardest to find, use them kindly
try to make a happy world for us all, a smile is a start
share your love,  passions your heart and art
give your truths if you can sing brightly

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Deluge

Thunder cracks, sky ripped in two, booms echo, deep within our bones 

darkness looms eerily, as the lightning blinds

the heavens open, a deluge washes over our minds

as the rain falls heavily on our homes

Water rises, like a feeling of rage, the ground cant hold anymore

rivers flood a blanket of mud, wet, sludge, the feelings sink deeper

under the storm, we shelter, hoping this isn't a meeting with the grim reaper

the water keeps coming, never slowing, this downpour

The rains show no sign of abating, like they have been waiting

built up to this, so much pain to release

as all around voices beg for help please

the waters reach their highest peaks, devastating

the sea level now critical, as it covers the coastal towns

this flood, that clouds my mind, keeps going

as the torrential rains keep flowing

panic rises with each inch of water, as the land drowns

How long can this go on?

When will the weather change? will the rain ease?

Who will be left to start afresh? we cant see the trees

Is this our last gasp for breath or a new dawn?

Thanks for reading.

Kyle.