School Daze

Those days, meant to be the best in life, a time to thrive
memories to live by, to take with us till the day we die
special times must have walked right past
a daze, those lost days, a grimace of pain, it lasts

The lights switch off in my mind, left here in the dark
faded photograph scraps of times elapsed, left cold and stark
pushed, shoved, hit til i bleed, the cruel words, this cruel world
a blessing to be alone and free, just me, can be unfurled

I remember me, always outside looking in at them
always wanting, never being, a part of the team, numb
apart from the rest, couldn't say a word, could you talk for me please? I'm scared
scarred, tore apart my art, my heart, my last remaining thought unaired

Left for a new place, a new day, a change to be
grew in belief, created myself, a new ideal me
a new deal, an ordeal, those past years
now forever lost in a flow of tears

Music dragged me out, pushed me into the arms of people new
a group who knew how to get to me, to make me break through
let go of those ripped diary pages, find my voice, sing loud
let my hair down, allow my heart to flow free and proud

Thanks for reading,
Kyle

Fallout

The thunderous cloud erupts out and looms
deadly, deathly silence after the deafening boom
dust brings an end to our days, we try to flee
as it comes down, falls like petals from a tree

The fall out warnings ring out
no hope for us now
if we survive this plight the days will feel like nights
lives forever changed, cards marked, humanities last rites

Bodies vaporised in an heartbeat
nothing left to see, but an xray burned into the street
mankind, mother natures still birth, never learn
all we leave is a scorched earth, as we watch it burn

End of days, caused by mans desire
we like to bring hurt, we play with fire
this time it burnt us whole
this world lost control

Radiation sickness eats away at its victims
didn't bring this on themselves, just going about business
no winners all losers. the day we split the atom
we became gods, instead of good we turned it to a weapon

Our kind will survive in part
but at what cost? so many lost hearts
so many dearly departed, no tales of glory
just regression into a cave dwellers story

Mutually assured destruction, madness to me
id rather food upon the table, a safer place to be
to change this negative for good
lets stop now before we are all worm food

Thanks for reading,
Kyle.

Devil

Lucifer looms over me, tall and proud

his business suit sharp and loud

offers his deal, a meal and all my hearts desires

if I just sit back give my soul and cower

The paper lay in front of me

the fountain pen and ink an affront I see

really needs my blood for this autograph

this was the point where I had to laugh

Would I trade my soul for money, fame a new flame?

the place inside where my words are framed, again and again

the part that gives me power, to be strong to belong

without my soul id be no one

I tore at the contract

felt it burn away on contact

said my final piece, shark like smile fades in disbelief

never in this life would I bend on one knee to this being of mischief

He vanished in a puff of smoke

the sulphur smell lingered strong, I choke

our meeting may have been brief

but its ending was a true relief

Thank you for reading,

Kyle.

the 100 club

100 posts!!!

wow, never thought i had so many words in me when i started this, so to hit 100 posts in 4 months is quite a big deal for me.

Back when i began my confidence was very low, i didnt feel my pieces were very good, but i do believe they have improved over the time, and will continue to improve as i learn more.

Just want to thank the people who have been supporting me over the last few years, without the help the guidance, the advice and the caring ear when i needed to rant i wouldnt be who i am today..

A person who used to struggle with leaving the house, whose depression would cripple him for days/weeks at a time, i still have these issues and more, but i am able to fight them better now.

So thank you to my family and friends, you all know your own names, Rebecca, Jasmine, Shamim, Sherry, Beckie G, Nick, Adam, Sharon, Mum, dad and my brother Damon, my uncle Steve who gave me great belief when i visit him in london, all my exs who have influenced my journey in the past. all the people i have crossed paths with.
And all the bands whose music kept me sane, when i was losing ground

Probably missing a bunch of people but just know that anyone who has been there with me it has been appreciated.

My words are not about anyone in general, they are often a mix of influences people places feelings and memories, mixed with some fiction and baked until golden and crisp.
Though some do go to some very dark parts of my mind, they are mostly about overcoming the battles and demons that have haunted me.

If anyone ever feels they are losing their grip, as if they have hit a downward spiral or a bottomless pit, dont hide away in it
ask for help, talk to people, dont let it beat you, i hope these words reach you.

Thanks everyone, 100 posts on to the next 100....
Kyle.

Dance away

Dance away like no one can see

come close to me

we can feel the rythm of the air

kiss me like we are the only ones there

The world could dissapear, my feelings would hold true

id rather just focus on me and you

forget all of the problems

our embraces will dissolve them

In our world, no one can judge our highs

as we set free our lives, just you and I

world outside will fade from view

as our love shines brightly through

We can escape anytime, away from this place

enjoy the silence of our own space

feel as the love flows deep in our hearts

hold on tight as the fear departs

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.

Voices

Make them stop, a cry erupts forward
the voices surrounding bay for more
wanting blood, only his will do, will make them stop
he cuts, the crimson comes forth in drips and drops

An escape he has used before, scars he tries to disguise
what would be his legacy? Torn flesh, feels despised
a million tears cried, another million dried inside
heart empty, lost, for all the people he pushed aside

The sounds in his mind, say this is his fate
his way to take away pain, lose the lead weight
rather than let them get in again
lets it flow free, lets his mind drain

Wishes and hopes must have been misplaced
the genie must have ripped up his notes in disgrace
as he cuts free another piece
soon he will fade from view, nothing to see

As if his head is filled with a thousand people
all telling him that he isn't wanted,this is their temple
he needs to depart it, or they will make this life hell
their home, no longer in control, not his own story to tell

No longer exists in his own mind
just a figment a fragment of time
as the sounds growl and roar
Can't take anymore

A guiding hand pushes away the blade
an arm on his shoulder breaks through his minds shade
Medication dulls the crowd, no longer out to hurt
life in his hands for the first time, no longer covered in dirt

Thanks for reading.  

If you ever have thoughs like these please ask for help. 

There are people out there who can help. 

You never have to fight these battles alone.

Kyle.
Artwork  © Rebecca Costello.

Distant star

The lone star, a distant sun, collapses in
consumes me, goes dark, as my heart did back then
we don't witness it go from view, so far away
just a feeling that is shared kept forever at bay

Even our telescopes don't pick up its demise
all those light years away, like thoughts of you, lost promise
the sad decay, an end of days, the last few rays
what was once a bright spark, my heart, fell away

The death of that light
like my memories of that last night
a shine gone dull
love lost its pull

The stars core cools, no longer burns true
as my feelings are no longer about you
a cold lonely part of the sky
no longer part of my life

Thanks for reading.
Kyle.