Gaslit streets

 

Court is in session.

We will go over

the defendant’s transgressions.

Admittedly they have at times,

walked a bit close to the wild side,

strode a line between rage and love,

took too much and didn't give enough.

Walked and walked in shoes too tight

because they fought with too much might

to make their voice heard.

Shouted and screamed at a world

that wouldn't listen any more

when they should have turned instead

and walked out of the door.

Let themselves get twisted 

around little fingers,

placed in corners,

too weak to walk on feet coated in blisters,

from the eggshell splinters piercing the soles.

Down in a hole. so lost and all out of control.

 

Now we will hear from the accused.

I was abused,

I never meant to let it become so obtuse,

I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt

but I realised that so long ago

the truth had walked out.

I didn't need to follow a masterplan,

I just walked along streets lined

with green eyed monsters.

Let the rains of hate

wash over me,

because the fields of love

still needed nurturing.

 

I accepted the blame,

so many times.

I walked in shame,

I towed your line.

I jumped when you said how high,

I would have walked off a cliff

if you had told me to die

because I didn't believe in me,

I had no confidence

in who I am or where I'd be.

I was a puppet led by the strings you pulled,

too uncomfortable in my skin,

to cut the cords. My emotions dulled.

 

I have learnt to breathe,

and now I'm no longer judged,

I feel at ease, much more at peace.

You see, you made me feel about one inch tall.

You made me feel I'd rather fall,

it was easier to collapse like a broken wall,

than to take your brush of hate painting me

in a different light entirely.

You lied. So many times,

you started to believe the lines,

twisted truth. Distorted to suit your view.

Made me feel I wasn't giving all of my heart,

when the opposite was true.

I left you,

because there was nothing else I could do.

Gaslit streets are murky enough,

I didn't need that kind of love.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading

Endless Nightmares out now

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Kyle