Sunday, 20 September 2026

Beginning of the end

 

You know that dream...

 

The one where you are

standing in front

of everyone, and as you

glance down then up,

you burn beetroot red.

Realising you are as naked

as the day you were born.

Then the laughter begins,

a wall of hyenas, cackling,

and you can feel your skin cracking,

and the tears starting to stream...

 

Well, that was childhood.

 

Every day brought that

feeling to the page. Every time

I spoke, every time I raised my hand,

every time I walked, or stood still,

every possible moment, good or bad,

tainted with that paint,

washed in that pain.

 

And my crime?

 

This is the question.

Was I a 2B pencil

in a world of pens?

All I know is that the erasers

were out in force, and my face

was drawn in scribbled lines.

Were the toothy grins

payback for some unconfirmed sin,

like the sin of being slightly different?

 

And by different, all I

really mean is unpopular.

 

They wouldn't have seen

the internal wiring going haywire,

or the fire in my head

when trying to connect simple threads.

But then, children are mean.

 

And I was public enemy number one.

To be or not to be,

a rose by another name,

a poet not a fighter,

a lover and a writer.

So, I layered on

the war paint, heavy cement,

and I dug in.

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