Strange beds

 

Woke in so many strangers' hearts,

a bedsit here, a shared house there.

Anywhere the party flowed

when the night's demanding song

wished to continue.

Some moments of longing, as I was still

looking for something. Someone, to be.

 

Pills and smokes, thrills in warped views.

Dancing to life's tune, and loving it.

 

We sat playing guitars until

the sun greeted our hearts,

and the first song of dawn

always sang along with ours.

 

And I woke in so many strange beds.

 

And I longed to be in my own.

 

With my heart connected to someone special.

 

But the night's demented song

always sang on,

and I knew the lyrics

better than anyone.

For I lived the words,

I loved the verses,

but the chorus stung.

And I longed for

someone real. To listen

to my voice, just speaking.

 

For sex wasn't what drew me in.

Though I waded in its waters,

I wanted deeper oceans.

I could never swim with someone

I didn't feel connected to, as the buoyant

waves of my youth always knew

I wanted more. And as

night’s demisexual song

sang on, I knew,

and I’d keep holding on

until I feel connection

in a soul I can call home.