Clear blue hope

 

In that liminal space

I’m not longer he who was

nor he who will be,

I’m in between a dream

and a moment of clear fidelity.

I still hold the anchor of yesterday

tied to my feet,

a weight I’ve been

tethered to for so long,

but now I see relief,

if I just break those chains

and set my mind free.

 

If I wave my arms frantically

through the static of

those dredged-up memories,

as it tingles my fingers,

and I feel the darkness of its energy,

the way it shivers

and vibrates the very air,

creating a barrier

from happiness, with a field of fear.

If I wave it away

it will soon dissipate

and I’ll be left in the clear

blue hope of a new day.

 

But if I let the fear

eclipse my sun,

if I hide who I am,

if I shade myself

from everyone,

then I’ll just become

a shadow

in the dark, invisible,

with just a broken heart.

But I know

that you will be

the phosphorus spark

that lights up the day, 

and realigns the parts

that I left so broken on

the crest of a dream,

and the days will be

so much brighter

than we have ever seen.

Behind closed eyes

 

I sit with my eyes

closed tight,

watching the swirling

starburst in my mind.

Seeing the lights

fizzle and flash,

dart and slash, burn and crash.

Like fireworks,

they explode

and

I watch

as I catch

wayward hearts

as they fall

like snow

upon my tongue.

They make me

want to burst into song,

but I know that if I try

my voice will not come.

 

Because times hands

are not yet

swishing around

at a million spins

every blink,

the universe

isn’t yet ready

for what is yet to come.

When the storms

subdue

and our

lighthouse glow

outshines the moon,

like nightlights

giving hope

to the many

and the few.

 

I sit.

A set of

jittery thoughts

raise up from

the pit of my

stomach.

Fluttering,

flapping

across every space

Then they take

Their place

behind

my eyes,

mingling with

the internal

lovelorn sighs.

My face

Reddens,

but I don’t

mind

 

So, I sit

with these

thoughts

closed tight.

Counting the stars

behind my eyes.

The millions

that shine so brilliant

and bright.

The hope

it swells

in swirling fields,

and the bitter pills

will no longer

need to be

delivered,

because love

will heal more than

any medicine

ever could.

Looking back

 

I spent so long looking behind me

at where I was,

I never saw what lay ahead,

or how the walk

was changing my stride,

I didn’t see that

who I was trying to be

had long ago died,

that there was someone else

blooming inside.

A flower ready to sway,

or the wind that blows

the cobwebs away.

 

I looked so long

at where I’d been,

what I’d done, who I’d been,

what went wrong,

that I didn’t hear the song

those birds were singing

so loud,

and yet I was stuck

on a different beachside,

watching another tide,

when the only one that was right,

was already there by my side.

 

I had my eyes closed.

 

I was sleepwalking in a daze

unaware that the glare was from within,

not from the world I was escaping.

I had so much in front of me.

so much to be thankful for,

so much love that if I let it hold my core

I’d melt into a puddle on the floor.

Happy in the knowledge

that I had been on the right road all along.