A monument of lonliness

 

Some days it feels like

I'm stuck in reverse,

a monument of loneliness, statuesque.

Frozen icicles clinging tightly

to my stuttering soul, and the world is

blurring around in fast forward.

I'm seasick on dry land.

And sometimes

I just need a hand to hold.

 

I don't fit any cliques,

I can't sit in nooks or crannies,

a social misfit, too misshapen

to be in your circles. But I'm not square,

I'm a dodecahedron with many sides

that people never get to see, because I'm

unfit to be invited to your party.

When I'm crowded, I get clouded

and my lips fall down

in a downcast rain.

 

And I'm a monument

of loneliness lost

in my own timeline,

mind working overtime,

alone with just my

thoughts for company,

and they are not friends

I'd wish on anybody.

But I can't let on

that I'm in there,

drowning in my own pain,

suffocating

from four-walled mirrors

staring back, pushing down

on my chest.

 

Feet paddling

in slow motion.

A ripple on an ocean that

no one can see

because the ocean is vast,

and my impact

is so minuscule.

 

See, I've always found

it hard to be

a people person.

I talk too much or too little,

I get lost in the tiny details

and miss

the grand picture

hanging over me.

I'm weird, my head in the clouds

Some of the time.

but my heart yearns

to hold onto a hug.

Because I'm also

the life of the party. I love to sing

from the top of my lungs,

I love to dance, I love my weird

and my eccentricity.

I'm a lover, a romantic, passionate,

I'm ice and fire, oil and water,

the dark horse, the laughter,

the smiles, I'm loved

and I'm healing everyday.

 

I'm complex. I'm human.

 

Hi, I'm Kyle.