I used to have a friend or so I thought.
At first, we would meet a few nights a week,
dancing to a youthful beat,
finding our feet on these bright,
exciting new streets.
They would lead me on all kinds of adventures.
The sort of which I could never report,
barely remember,
but I never seemed to fit in,
I couldn’t begin to feel comfortable in my skin.
So, he started to teach me his ways
preaching at me to always
keep my glass raised.
I used to have a friend,
would see them most evenings
At the pub, at home,
slowly encroaching bit by bit.
Then my life smashed to pieces.
A shadow of a broken-hearted man sits.
My friend placed his arm around me.
I'll look after you till the end.
I'd never had many friends; I never could connect.
So, I welcomed in my own demon
to rip apart my self-respect.
Afterwards we were never apart.
They started to come around in the days.
Inviting themselves to stay.
Took up lodgings in my home,
never leaving me alone.
Making me act the fool.
Behind me he would laugh at the target
he had painted on my back,
the way he made me look uncool,
wrapped around the toilet bowl,
face covered in sick and drool.
This friend and I spent
so much time just making hours fly.
Rushing around mostly out of my mind.
Thoughts descended into mere passers-by,
and money was a thing of the past.
They had taken control of that.
Me just a puppet for his plans
Dangling from strings, swigging away at cans.
I used to have a friend,
or so I thought,
until the day I caught
that friend, stabbing me in the back.
Just a pawn to his game.
Pushing me into danger
then standing watching me fall and crack.
Laughing at my shame. At my shattered pieces
staring back.
I used to have a friend.
Then I realised
he was an abuser all along,
I was addicted
to the escape he gave me,
but this was no getaway,
a vampire sucking my life from deep.
making me less of a man,
sending me into a long deep sleep.
Leaching my energy. My memories. My thoughts.
My mind quietly closed the door and was gone.
Thanks for reading
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