I've never really
fit in.
An outsider
to every party within.
I was never popular,
my features
didn't fit your settings,
easy to forget.
A starving creature,
just there to tease
then send off begging,
with no food
on my plate
nor a bed to lay in.
The way I talked or didn't,
made me seem distant,
aloof, in truth I was scared.
I couldn't get my voice to raise
beyond a squeak.
You just took the micky when
it leaked out in mousy speech.
Making me a prime target to tease
and my mind was different. Difficult.
Full of holes like Swiss cheese,
so, you would set me traps
to see the way my cheeks
would turn
fire extinguisher red,
as if to blend in
with the very thing
I would use to extinguish the fires
that burned in my head.
You picked and kicked,
spat and hit,
you made me feel small,
a speck of dirt. Nothing much at all.
From the earth I'd crawled.
You pushed me against walls,
on the floor, to the ground.
Pounding fists knocking me down.
Just because
I wasn't like you.
Because I was singing
a different tune.
I was playing the backbeat
whilst you were the front man
acting a buffoon.
Now I walk
on these wobbly feet,
the painful soles, the cramping heat
ripping tears from my eyes.
But, I don't let the eyes of others
make me feel small,
I won't let the world grab me
and pull me into the dirt.
I won't wear a glass shard crown,
just for wanting to be myself.
I choose my path,
and I chose the one
with less hurt.
The one
I'm already walking down.
Thanks for reading
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